Blog Profile / Laugh Lines


URL :http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/
Filed Under:Humor
Posts on Regator:177
This blog is retired.
Archived Since:March 9, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Letterman: 'A Brand-New House'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Thursday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: You remember Bill Clinton? Bill and Hillary went out and bought a brand-new house in upstate New York. He's still keeping the old place to use as a bachelor ...

Letterman: 'This Just In'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Wednesday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: This just in. President Obama is looking into trading Mel Gibson to Russia.

Your Jokes: 'The Next Thunderstorm'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Your Jokes | George Steinbrenner, the New York Yankees owner, has passed away at 80. This just in -- all of the "Angels in the Outfield" have been traded. -- Bill Littlejohn, South Lake Tahoe, Calif.

Leno: 'Congratulations to Spain'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Monday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Let me say congratulations to Spain. They won the World Cup yesterday. Spanish people all over the world celebrated in the streets, except of course, in Arizona.

Leno: 'Watching the Matches From His Cave'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Thursday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Well, the big story in Washington is the Obama Administration has had the Justice Department file a lawsuit to block Arizona's tough new immigration law. The government is saying Arizona's new law is unconstitutional. Show More Summary

Your Jokes: 'Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Your Jokes | Bob Dylan: "Like a Rolling Stone" Stanley McChrystal: "I Don't Like-a Rolling Stone" -- Paul Feehan, Key Biscayne, Fla.

Leno: 'The Rolling Stone Incident'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Thursday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Well, folks, you knew it was going to happen. It was inevitable. It happened today. General Stanley McChrystal cancelled his subscription to Rolling Stone.

Leno: 'Rethinking its Boycott'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Wednesday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: General McChrystal was relieved of his duties because of derogatory comments he made about President Obama and other White House staffers. In fact, when he heard that, Joe Biden was shocked and said, "What? You can get fired for saying something stupid? What? When'd they start that? Is that new?"

Fallon: 'A Nightmare Situation'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Wednesday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC: Today, President Obama fired General Stanley McChrystal, saying McChrystal showed poor judgment in his Rolling Stone interview. It turns out when it comes to criticizing the White House, the general's policy is "just ask, and I'll tell."

Leno: 'They Can't Wait for the Oil'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Friday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Let's see what's going on with B.P. C.E.O. Tony Hayward, otherwise known as "the lying king."

Leno: 'I Think It's Hurting Him'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Monday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Because of the success of Toy Story 3, Pixar is now rushing ahead with its plans to do a sequel to one of their most popular movies, presented by B.P. It's B.P. presents "Try Finding Nemo Now."

Letterman: 'Our Army of Alert T-shirt Vendors'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Monday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: People are kind of upset with British Petroleum C.E.O. Tony Hayward. Over the weekend, he was out on his yacht. And when President Obama found out that Tony Hayward was on his yacht, he was so angry, he missed a putt.

Your Jokes: 'Impersonating a Congressman'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Your Jokes | Father's Day: the day we try to remember Dad's neck size because we forgot the size of his heart. -- Bill Williams

Letterman: 'Trained to Become Terrorists'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Wednesday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: At one time, Barack Obama lived in New York City. Obama hasn't lived in this apartment here in New York City since 1981, but oddly enough, it's still where he picks up his Pottery Barn catalogues.

Letterman: 'The Fun is Just Beginning'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Tuesday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: You know who performed at the Rush Limbaugh wedding? Elton John. Isn't that amazing. It proves that there's absolutely no ideological gap that a million dollar check can't bridge.

Fallon: 'He Talks to Oil Experts'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Tuesday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC: Today marked the 50th day of the B.P. oil spill. Yeah, the oil spill is getting so old, its tar balls are starting to sag.

Kimmel: 'Happy National Doughnut Day'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Friday night on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on ABC: Happy National Doughnut day to everyone. This is why America is such a great country: 64 percent of our population is overweight and yet we still have National Doughnut Day.

Your Jokes: 'A Cooking Show'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Your Jokes | The saddest part is the spill. But close is BP's choice of public-relations theme song: "Fuels Rush In Where Anglers Fear To Tread." -- Barry Henderson, Georgia

Leno: 'He Thought it Was a Porcupine'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Monologue | Monday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Well, folks, it seems that oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, much worse than British Petroleum first reported. You know how bad it is? Yesterday, I checked the oil in my car, had seawater on it.

Your Jokes: 'A Lot of Explaining'

5 years agoHumor : Laugh Lines

Your Jokes | Moishe Rosen, the man who founded Jews for Jesus, has died. Boy, is he doing a lot of explaining now. -- Marc Ragovin, New York

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