|Posts on Regator:||3458|
This blog is retired.
|Archived Since:||March 9, 2008|
A note to readers: This post is the last for the Laugh Lines blog, started three years ago as a place for amusing stuff on the Web, curated to the sensibilities of Times readers. The blog's end is a function of the reality of limited...Show More Summary
Monologue | Thursday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: We have some wonderful news. B.P. announced they successfully capped the oil leak. The oil leak has stopped. I am so glad they were able to nip this thing in the bud.
Monologue | Thursday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: You remember Bill Clinton? Bill and Hillary went out and bought a brand-new house in upstate New York. He's still keeping the old place to use as a bachelor ...
Monologue | Thursday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC: B.P. just announced that the containment cap is working and no oil is leaking into the Gulf of Mexico. Well, that was easy.
Video | A little qwerty music.
Monologue | Wednesday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: President Obama announced the appointment of a new White House budget director, which is pretty surprising. You know the White House has a budget director? What the hell has he been doing?
Monologue | Wednesday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: This just in. President Obama is looking into trading Mel Gibson to Russia.
Your Jokes | George Steinbrenner, the New York Yankees owner, has passed away at 80. This just in -- all of the "Angels in the Outfield" have been traded. -- Bill Littlejohn, South Lake Tahoe, Calif.
Monologue | Tuesday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: A lot of people continue to be very upset by the fact that we can't get Osama bin laden. Osama bin laden? We can't even get Roman Polanski.
Monologue | Tuesday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: If you know anything about the big spy swap here in New York City, there were ten spies and they were running around New York City stealing secrets. They arranged a big spy swap. It was very exciting. We sent them ten spies, and they sent us four spies, plus a Cuban pitcher.
Video | Evidence of the cultural reach of the late Yankees owner.
Monologue | Monday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Let me say congratulations to Spain. They won the World Cup yesterday. Spanish people all over the world celebrated in the streets, except of course, in Arizona.
Monologue | Friday night on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC: Well, last night, in a special one-hour show on ESPN, LeBron James addressed the nation. And a lot of people got confused. In fact, when Glenn Beck saw it, he called LeBron a Muslim and demanded to see his birth certificate.
Monologue | Monday night on "The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS: I thought this was nice. Earlier today, President Obama invited Mel Gibson and his girlfriend to the White House for a beer.
Monologue | Monday night on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC: Rush Limbaugh just sold his penthouse in New York for $11 million. The apartment is amazing. It has a 24-hour doorman and a 24-hour pharmacy.
Video | What a lovely wedding. Oh, snap.
Your Jokes | A new law in Louisiana allows guns in churches. Parishioners can go to study the four Gospels. Matthew, Mark, Smith and Wesson. -- Alan Ray, Stockton, Calif.
Toast | Tell us what's going on in the picture above (use the comment link below). It's the latest of the uncaptioned images we're posting each Monday. For your caption to be considered, follow the guidelines.
Video | Comic loses crowd but wins it back just as quickly.
Your Jokes | What's the difference between vuvuzela and the leader of Venezuela? One is a tool that makes loud, obnoxious noise. The other is a horn used by fans at sporting events. -- Israel Carrasco, Anaheim, Calif.