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Blog Profile / Sugarbutch Chronicles


URL :http://www.sugarbutch.net/
Filed Under:LGBT / Lesbian
Posts on Regator:1413
Posts / Week:4
Archived Since:March 23, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Follow your own Kinky Desire Map

This past summer, while rife and I were running the Submissive Playground ecourse (which is open for registration for the January 2015 session, btw!), we kept talking about the path that folks take to discover and enhance their kink identities. For example, what sparks the pursuit of kink? How do we go from a dabbler […]

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

On Facebook recently, Mollena asked: “White ?#?SexualityEducators?: what are you doing to actively foster inclusivity? Diversify your audience? Support your Peers of Color?” [link.] I’ve been writing and writing and thinking about all of the things I’ve been reading and digesting around #blacklivesmatter and race and inclusion, and this question got me thinking hard, and […]

Vortex Poem, Or: What I learned these last 15 years of studying embodiment

Most of the time, my body has the answer. My own body, this vessel, this corporeal flesh with pulses and nerves and bone, these muscles that move me around and enable me to jump and reach and grasp and squat and pump. This unexplainable, inimitable machine that lets me experience the world through my senses, […]

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

For a little more than three years, I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer” they/them pronouns, because, as many gender activists have been discussing lately, it’s not exactly a “preference.” I prefer green grapes to red grapes, I prefer almond milk to soy milk. But the accurate pronoun for […]

10 Tips for Tops

here are many styles of dominance, mastery, and topping, from the paternal to the viciously mean, but regardless of where you are, I believe you can be better. I believe this exploration of power dynamics can be a spiritually fulfilling path, and that it can lead us to many lessons and areas of growth. Those […]

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

I sit in shock at my desk, though I knew it was coming, knew Leslie Feinberg was sick, and know how deadly lyme disease can be is. I sit feeling the shock of grief: Leslie Feinberg died this past weekend. And today is the Trans Day of Remembrance, and that of itself gets me all […]

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

Content warning: Dirty queer faggoty genderqueer trans sex, including lots of Daddy and boy references, some vague force and coercion, and age play. Read on at your own risk. #1 Sinclair: I was daydreaming about tying you up and fucking your ass with every cock I can find. rife: Whimper, moan, squirm. Yes Sir. Sinclair: […]

Protected: The Collaring Ceremony

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

The Four Topping Stages

hen I started topping, I was self-conscious, nervous, easily crushed, and full of bravado and swagger. (I’d like to think that all of that was somewhat subtle, and that I was being at least a little transparent and honest about all of it, though when I look back at my old writing I think there’s […]

Dear Tops: Say Thank You

Dear tops, When someone corrects your technique while fucking, set your ego aside and say thank you. Thanks for telling me. Thanks for making that clearer. I like knowing your body better, thanks. You are lucky that she spoke up—it is a good thing. It means she is capable of communicating about what feels good […]

“I wish I could show you … the astonishing light of your own being.”

I read so many things about queer folks and trans folks and genderqueer folks about dating and sex and how the person you love doesn’t love you anymore and how you really want the new binder or surgery or just ran out of your HRT dose or how your heart is breaking or how fucking […]

Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns for more than three years now. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer” they/them pronouns, because, as many gender activists have been discussing lately, it’s not exactly a “preference.” I prefer green grapes to red grapes, I prefer almond milk to soy milk. But the accurate pronoun for my […]

The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments

I’ve been teaching strap-on workshops for about six years now, and I’ve been strapping on for about fifteen. I also coach people to have more cock confidence (and to find the perfect cocks & harness for what they need). With all of this experience, I have some pretty strong opinions and philosophies about strap-on cocks […]

Protected: Guest comic from rife

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Do rough sex fantasies compromise your sex-positive ethics?

This new essay is also the introduction to my new book, Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, available September 15th. Preorder it on Smashwords now! I firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with my personal rough sex fantasies, nor is there anything wrong with your dirtiest fantasies. I believe that because I […]

Leather: A Dirty Story in Photos

A few weeks ago, photographer Shilo McCabe came over to take some shots of rife and I in our “natural habitat,” and this is what she got. I’ve never done a shoot like this before (so it’s possible I’ll put it under a password after a few days), but I really love how intimate it […]

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

I have always had very heavy periods. Lots of blood, serious cramps that vary from keeping me flat on my back watching movies until I can stand up again to drugging myself heavily to throwing up from the pain. They’ve always been very regular (which is one of the things that rules out PCOS), and […]

Is psychological kink play “healthy”?

Recently, I’ve noticed quite a few questions—both in the Submissive Playground course and in the Ask Me Anything box—concerning kink, trauma, and wellness, particularly about psychological kink play like D/s and Daddy/girl dynamics and whether or not they are “good” for you. After my own recent experience of a D/s Daddy/girl relationship dynamic “going sour,” […]

I need you to take a little more for me.

Content warning: This story contains bondage and Daddy/boy language, with some language around force and ownership. Read it at your own risk/pleasure. “Be good, and I might let you come.” My mouth is right next to their ear as my hands work to snap the hooks in place. Their wrists are bound above their head […]

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