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Blog Profile / Sugarbutch Chronicles

Filed Under:LGBT / Lesbian
Posts on Regator:1419
Posts / Week:4
Archived Since:March 23, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Submissive Fantasy vs Submissive Reality, A Guest Post from rife

Hi this is rife, Sinclair’s boy. Maybe you’ve read dirty things about me, but that’s not the whole story. So what am I up to when not bent over? Well … I love erotica and porn as much as anyone (honest!), but often when people describe it, we get so hot and heavy talking about […]

I Want You to Thrive: How to Use the Submissive Playground “Tracks”

As a Dominant, my job is not to teach you how to submit—other submissives and your own inner wisdom holds techniques and tips for that. (That’s why the course has fourteen guest educators who are mostly switches and submissives.) My job as a Dominant is: To create a space for your submission to walk into […]

I just need to use you. (And! Submissive Playground giveaway)

Content warning: Power dynamics, ownership/property play. Scroll down to the bottom if you want to get right to the Submissive Playground giveaway. Sometimes, I just need to use you. I don’t know how to describe it: Those times when I wake up and your skin is just right there, you’re not allowed to sleep with […]

“Healing comes through sex.” Sinclair Sexsmith interviews Sophia Chang

How do I know if this kind of dirty kinky sex is good for me? What are the healing aspects of D/s play? What kind of biophysical basis for healing does kinky sex have? And how can the sacral chakra and cellular memory assist with healing, and give your sex life even more power and […]

Weight. Mouth. Rough Sex.

Content Warning: Force, coercion, descriptions of rough sex. Also dominance and submission, and depictions of ownership. Sometimes I just think of the simplest of things. Your mouth. That look on your face, that look, when you’re giving over even more, just a little deeper, giving in to the sensation, giving in to wherever I’m moving […]

Turn Your Rough Fantasies into Responsible Reality

Everyone has them: Those rough fantasies that involve some sort of thing that you aren’t sure you would ever actually do, but that really, really does it for you. And maybe, just maybe, you would like to explore some of them. Maybe you even feel a little guilty for liking it so much. Maybe you […]

Follow your own Kinky Desire Map

This past summer, while rife and I were running the Submissive Playground ecourse (which is open for registration for the January 2015 session, btw!), we kept talking about the path that folks take to discover and enhance their kink identities. For example, what sparks the pursuit of kink? How do we go from a dabbler […]

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

On Facebook recently, Mollena asked: “White ?#?SexualityEducators?: what are you doing to actively foster inclusivity? Diversify your audience? Support your Peers of Color?” [link.] I’ve been writing and writing and thinking about all of the things I’ve been reading and digesting around #blacklivesmatter and race and inclusion, and this question got me thinking hard, and […]

Vortex Poem, Or: What I learned these last 15 years of studying embodiment

Most of the time, my body has the answer. My own body, this vessel, this corporeal flesh with pulses and nerves and bone, these muscles that move me around and enable me to jump and reach and grasp and squat and pump. This unexplainable, inimitable machine that lets me experience the world through my senses, […]

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

For a little more than three years, I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer” they/them pronouns, because, as many gender activists have been discussing lately, it’s not exactly a “preference.” I prefer green grapes to red grapes, I prefer almond milk to soy milk. But the accurate pronoun for […]

10 Tips for Tops

here are many styles of dominance, mastery, and topping, from the paternal to the viciously mean, but regardless of where you are, I believe you can be better. I believe this exploration of power dynamics can be a spiritually fulfilling path, and that it can lead us to many lessons and areas of growth. Those […]

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

I sit in shock at my desk, though I knew it was coming, knew Leslie Feinberg was sick, and know how deadly lyme disease can be is. I sit feeling the shock of grief: Leslie Feinberg died this past weekend. And today is the Trans Day of Remembrance, and that of itself gets me all […]

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

Content warning: Dirty queer faggoty genderqueer trans sex, including lots of Daddy and boy references, some vague force and coercion, and age play. Read on at your own risk. #1 Sinclair: I was daydreaming about tying you up and fucking your ass with every cock I can find. rife: Whimper, moan, squirm. Yes Sir. Sinclair: […]

Protected: The Collaring Ceremony

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

The Four Topping Stages

hen I started topping, I was self-conscious, nervous, easily crushed, and full of bravado and swagger. (I’d like to think that all of that was somewhat subtle, and that I was being at least a little transparent and honest about all of it, though when I look back at my old writing I think there’s […]

Dear Tops: Say Thank You

Dear tops, When someone corrects your technique while fucking, set your ego aside and say thank you. Thanks for telling me. Thanks for making that clearer. I like knowing your body better, thanks. You are lucky that she spoke up—it is a good thing. It means she is capable of communicating about what feels good […]

“I wish I could show you … the astonishing light of your own being.”

I read so many things about queer folks and trans folks and genderqueer folks about dating and sex and how the person you love doesn’t love you anymore and how you really want the new binder or surgery or just ran out of your HRT dose or how your heart is breaking or how fucking […]

Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns for more than three years now. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer” they/them pronouns, because, as many gender activists have been discussing lately, it’s not exactly a “preference.” I prefer green grapes to red grapes, I prefer almond milk to soy milk. But the accurate pronoun for my […]

The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments

I’ve been teaching strap-on workshops for about six years now, and I’ve been strapping on for about fifteen. I also coach people to have more cock confidence (and to find the perfect cocks & harness for what they need). With all of this experience, I have some pretty strong opinions and philosophies about strap-on cocks […]

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