Blog Profile / The Onion

Filed Under:Humor
Posts on Regator:5033
Posts / Week:12.8
Archived Since:April 2, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Commentary: God Has Kind Of A Loose Outline For Us All

last weekHumor : The Onion

There are times in life when we’re faced with challenges that seem insurmountable. We may feel lost and alone, abandoned in a world with no hope of relief and nowhere to turn. We may even feel as though life itself isn’t worth living. Show More Summary

American Voices: ‘Ground Zero Mosque’ Developer Now Proposing Luxury Condos

last weekHumor : The Onion

After purchasing a Ground Zero–adjacent lot in 2009 with plans to build an Islamic cultural center, developer Sharif El-Gamal was met with such outrage that he abandoned the project in 2011 and revealed a proposal this week to instead build luxury condos at the site. What do you think?

News in Brief: Department Of Education Hires Art Teacher To Spread Evenly Across All U.S. Public Schools

last weekHumor : The Onion

WASHINGTON—Expressing their desire to provide American students with a well-rounded education, officials from the Department of Education announced Tuesday they had hired 26-year-old art teacher Kelsey Alexander to be spread evenly across all U.S. Show More Summary

Graphic: Tips For Training Your Dog

last weekHumor : The Onion

Bringing a dog into the family can be as difficult as it is rewarding, and pet owners must set rules and boundaries for the newest members of their household. Here are The Onion’s tips for training your dog: Start with simple commands...Show More Summary

American Voices: U.N. General Assembly Begins

last weekHumor : The Onion

The 70th session of the United Nations General Assembly kicks off today, wherein 193 member states will discuss prominent issues such as global warming and the ongoing conflict in Syria. What do you think?

Infographic: Goals Of The U.N. General Assembly

last weekHumor : The Onion

The 70th United Nations General Assembly takes place this week, with member countries focusing on plans to address global sustainability, economic growth, and the Syrian refugee crisis, among other major topics. Here are the main goals...Show More Summary

News in Brief: Nation Demands NASA Stop Holding Press Conferences Until They Discover Some Little Alien Guys

last weekHumor : The Onion

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that they only wanted to hear announcements about actual cool stuff in space, millions of impatient Americans flat-out demanded Monday that NASA stop holding all press conferences until they discover some little alien guys. Show More Summary

Sportsgraphic: NFL Week Three Winners And Losers

last weekHumor : The Onion

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the third week of the 2015 NFL season: Winners San Francisco 49ers: Enjoying the easy-going, undemanding personality of head coach Jim Tomsula Adrian Peterson: Relieved to learn his wife...Show More Summary

News in Brief: Twitter Announces There No Trending Topics Today

last weekHumor : The Onion

SAN FRANCISCO—Noting the lack of any social causes, amusing hashtag games, or major news stories currently stimulating public conversations on their site, Twitter officials announced Monday that there are no trending topics today, but suggested that perhaps something might catch on tomorrow. Show More Summary

News in Brief: Alarming Report Finds Only 6% Of Earth’s Surface Indoors

last weekHumor : The Onion

LAWRENCE, KS—Drawing attention to the distressing prevalence of outside areas on the planet, researchers at the University of Kansas released an alarming report Monday revealing that a mere 6 percent of the Earth’s surface is actually indoors. Show More Summary

American Voices: Yogurt Cups Harming Skunk Population

last weekHumor : The Onion

Yoplait yogurt has evidently been posing a risk to wildlife due to the product’s tapered cup and foil lid, with animal advocates citing an especially high death toll among skunks whose muzzles get stuck in the containers and suffocate, a problem that Yoplait has allegedly known about since 1998 but has done little to address. What do you think?

Sports News in Brief: Wild-Eyed Jim Harbaugh Informs Players They Must Kill Their Pregame Meal

last weekHumor : The Onion

ANN ARBOR, MI—Stressing the importance of physical and mental preparation for their upcoming game against UNLV, a wild-eyed, frenzied Jim Harbaugh reportedly informed all University of Michigan players Saturday that they would have to kill their pregame meal themselves. Show More Summary

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