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Blog Profile / The Onion


URL :http://www.theonion.com
Filed Under:Entertainment / Humor
Posts on Regator:9680
Posts / Week:28.3
Archived Since:April 2, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Hershey's Announces It's All Out Of Candy

HERSHEY, PA—Hershey's, the American confectionery giant behind such treats as Hershey's Kisses, Twizzlers, and the Symphony chocolate bar, announced Tuesday that it had run out of candy and would cease operations immediately.

TV Listings: Holmes On Homes

DIY 8:00 p.m. EST/7:00 p.m. CST Sherlock and Watson must complete a half-finished bungalow renovation before Moriarty blows up an innocent hostage.

CHICAGO, IL—Mackenzie Yeager sat through her friend's one-man show only to realize the last act was all about the lunch date they had earlier that day.

CHICAGO, IL—Mackenzie Yeager sat through her friend's one-man show only to realize the last act was all about the lunch date they had earlier that day.

[video] Same Homeless Man Always Begging For Change On United Flight

A 5-year-old announces that the circle is no longer her favorite shape, former Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown makes his comeback to horse racing as a jockey, and the guitar music fad runs its course.

Tiger Woods' Reputation Takes Another Hit After He Is Caught Operating A Coal Mine With Flagrant Disregard For OSHA Regulations

FAIRMONT, WV—In an announcement that has caused the golfer to lose further endorsement deals and degraded his already meager public esteem, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration released a report Monday citing a West Virginia coal mine o...

American Voices: 'Avengers' Has Record Second Weekend

The Avengers became the first film to make more than $100 million domestically in its second weekend, and has now grossed more than $1 billion to date worldwide.

[Video] Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works

Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series.

American Voices: Was Romney A Bully?

Former classmates of Mitt Romney have reported multiple incidents of bullying by the presidential candidate when he was a student at the prestigious Cranbrook preparatory school in Michigan.

'Game Of Thrones' Running Out Of Unkempt Old Men To Cast

LOS ANGELES—According to insider sources, the future of HBO's Game Of Thrones is currently in doubt, with the hit fantasy series facing a dire shortage of weather-beaten, bedraggled old men to cast.

General Mills Gives Honey Nut Cheerios Bee Intense Backstory Of Childhood Foster Home Abuse In Bizarre Rebranding Effort

MINNEAPOLIS—In an unsettling attempt to increase brand visibility and broaden its demographic appeal, the General Mills corporation unveiled a new backstory for its iconic Honey Nut Cheerios bee character Monday, giving the cartoon insect a traumati...

American Voices: JPMorgan Loses $2 Billion

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon informed investors that a series of risky positions in synthetic credit securities had resulted in a $2 billion loss for the company.

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—Cub Scout Pack 53 toured the local CBS affiliate’s newsroom, where members took turns spitting on the green screen.

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—Cub Scout Pack 53 toured the local CBS affiliate’s newsroom, where members took turns spitting on the green screen.

New Poultry Stripe Gum Hardly Tastes Like Goose After Chewing For One Minute

New Poultry Stripe Gum Hardly Tastes Like Goose After Chewing For One Minute

TV Listings: Cliffhanger High

Noggin 4:00 p.m. EST/3:00 p.m. CST All-state baseball pitcher Russ throws two strikes to the opposing team's star player, the girls nervously shuffle on stage for the regional cheerleading competition, Principal Wolf dials the number of the clinic to lea...

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