Blog Profile / The Onion

Filed Under:Humor
Posts on Regator:5346
Posts / Week:13.4
Archived Since:April 2, 2008

Blog Post Archive

American Voices: Scientists Confirm Anti-Vaccine Sites Contain No Facts

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

A new study found that despite the prevalence of websites encouraging parents not to vaccinate their children, two-thirds of the sites presented false or disproven information as scientific evidence, while others misinterpreted the findings of peer-reviewed medical papers on the subject. What do you think?

Infographic: Timeline Of The James Bond Series

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history: 1940:...Show More Summary

News in Brief: Longtime Residents Worry Roommate With Well-Paid Job Slowly Gentrifying Apartment

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

DENVER—Noting that many areas are completely unrecognizable compared to when they first moved in years ago, residents of 1102 Larimer Street Apartment 2B told reporters Thursday they’ve begun to worry their well-paid roommate is slowly gentrifying the apartment. Show More Summary

American Voices: Houston Votes Against Antidiscrimination Ordinance

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

The Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, which establishes antidiscrimination protections for LGBT and other citizens, was rejected by voters 61 to 39 percent this week, due in part to the influence of conservative pastors who believe transgender people using public restrooms poses a danger to women, claims that proponents of the ordinance dismiss as fearmongering. What do you think?

News in Brief: CVS Cashier Can’t Wait To Accept $20 Bill From Customer Purchasing 3 Different Cough Medications

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

LANSING, MI—Having watched with mounting excitement as the pallid, sniffling man made his way toward her register from the pharmacy section, local CVS cashier Hannah Everson told reporters Thursday she was overjoyed at the prospect of accepting a $20 bill from a customer purchasing three different kinds of cough medicine. Show More Summary

Onion Film Standard: The Onion Reviews ‘Spectre’

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

The Onion’s movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews ‘Spectre’ in this week’s Film Standard.

News in Brief: Wealthiest Americans Ominously Remind Nation They Could Easily Drop Another $10 Billion On Election

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

WASHINGTON—Calmly stating that they would not even need to think twice about doing so, the nation’s wealthiest individuals ominously reminded the populace during a press conference Wednesday that they could easily drop another $10 billion on the 2016 election. Show More Summary

News in Brief: Majority Whip Displays Impaled Senator Outside Capitol Building As Warning To All Who Cross Party Lines

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

WASHINGTON—Instructing his colleagues to take a good, long look at what happens to consensus seekers, Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX) publicly displayed the impaled body of a fellow senator at the entrance to the Capitol building Thursday as a warning to anyone thinking about crossing party lines. Show More Summary

American Voices: Vatican Scandals Detailed In Tell-All Books

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

Two books released this week by Italian journalists both detail alleged greed and excess within the highest ranks of the Vatican, including the rampant, unsupervised spending of church donations that allegedly angered Pope Francis, who strives for a more modest Catholic Church. What do you think?

News: Economists Estimate Human Civilization Still Years Away From Turning Profit

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

BALTIMORE—After an exhaustive review of financial records from the present back to the cuneiform ledgers of ancient Mesopotamia, economists at Johns Hopkins University released a report Wednesday indicating that human civilization is...Show More Summary

News in Brief: Inaccuracy Of Every Single Detail Forces Student Paper To Pull Story At Last Minute

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

NEW BRITAIN, CT—Explaining that the article did not meet the publication’s high standards, the editors of The Recorder, Central Connecticut State University’s student newspaper, confirmed Wednesday that the inaccuracy of every single detail forced them to pull the issue’s top story at the last minute. Show More Summary

News in Brief: Two-Month Freelance Gig Posted In ‘Careers’ Section Of Company’s Website

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

NEW YORK—Referring to the two months of contracted labor as an “opportunity,” online media company RazerWire posted a temporary graphic design freelance gig in the “Careers” section of its website, sources confirmed Wednesday. “We are...Show More Summary

American Voices: Diamonds Might Not Be As Rare As Once Thought

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

According to new research, the process by which the earth creates diamonds might be more common than we thought, though many of the resultant gems are microscopic and immaterial to humans. What do you think?

News in Brief: Paul Ryan Discovers Half-Finished Escape Tunnel Leading Out Of Speaker’s Offic

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

WASHINGTON—Moving a 19th-century armchair away from the mahogany-paneled wall as he rearranged his new office Wednesday, recently elected House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly stumbled upon a half-finished escape tunnel leading out of the Speaker’s chambers. Show More Summary

American Voices: Cinemas Ban Masks, Prop Weapons At ‘Star Wars’ Release

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

Citing safety concerns, movie theater chain Cinemark is warning audiences ahead of the December 18 opening of Star Wars: Episode VII that they are not permitted to wear masks or face paint as part of any costume, nor can they carry prop weapons to screenings of the film. What do you think?

News in Brief: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Femur That Could Make Mouthwatering Broth

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

SIBERIA, RUSSIA—Hailing it as among the most intact and substantial Paleolithic-era finds ever unearthed, a team of archaeologists from University College Dublin announced Wednesday the discovery of an ancient human femur that could make a rich, mouthwatering broth. Show More Summary

American Voices: ISS Celebrates 15 Years Of Residency In Space

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

This week, the International Space Station marked 15 years of continuous human residency, during which the crew has expanded the ISS by 10 rooms, performed 1,760 experiments, and completed 189 space walks. What do you think?

News in Brief: Victoria’s Secret Introduces 3-Inch Patch Of Satin To Place Anywhere On Body

3 weeks agoHumor : The Onion

NEW YORK—Touting it as a seductive and versatile new addition to their Dream Angels collection, Victoria’s Secret officials announced Tuesday the launch of a 3-square-inch patch of satin that can be placed anywhere on the body. “OurShow More Summary

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