Blog Profile / The Onion


URL :http://www.theonion.com
Filed Under:Humor
Posts on Regator:6036
Posts / Week:13.9
Archived Since:April 2, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Man Worried Harassing Messages He Sending On Dating App Getting Lost Among Abuse From Other Guys

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

NORRISTOWN, PA—Saying he wasn’t sure whether writing to them was even worth the effort at this point, local man Luke Browning expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that the offensive messages he’s been sending women through OkCupid are getting lost among all the harassment from other male users. Show More Summary

Alaska Volcano Erupts

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

Alaska’s Pavlof volcano has erupted for the 40th time in recorded history, spewing ash 20,000 feet in the air, though its location is so remote that the eruption did little to damage any surrounding communities. What do you think?

Tribeca Pulls Anti-Vaccine Film

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

One day after defending the screening of Andrew Wakefield’s controversial anti-vaccination film Vaxxed by saying it would promote conversation, Tribeca Film Festival cofounder Robert De Niro has announced that the film was being pulled from the festival. What do you think?

Advisors Tell Trump, Cruz To Stick To Just Attacking All Women In General

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

JANESVILLE, WI—Attempting to reduce the negative publicity generated by their candidates’ recent attacks on each other’s wives, top campaign advisors reportedly instructed Republican presidential hopefuls Donald Trump and Ted Cruz in private meetings Monday to stick to just attacking all women in general, sources confirmed. Show More Summary

How To Discuss Politics With Your Loved Ones

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

The Onion provides helpful tips on how to avoid conflict with family and friends when discussing the thorny topic of politics. First things first: Leave the car running in the driveway. Begin any counterpoint by irately screaming “I respectfully disagree!” inches from your loved one’s face. Don’t languish in a circular argument. Show More Summary

Children Trampled At Easter Egg Hunt

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

A Connecticut Easter egg hunt became chaotic after parents rushed the field in advance of the official start time, fighting to gather eggs for their children and hurting other children in the process, a scene that one of the organizers compared to “a swarm of locusts.” What do you think?

Department Of Interior Brings Down Derelict Rainbow With Controlled Demolition

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

KANSAS CITY, MO—Saying the once-radiant arc had become little more than an eyesore, officials at the Department of the Interior announced Monday that a demolitions team had successfully brought down a derelict rainbow with a series of controlled dynamite blasts. Show More Summary

Report: Freezers In Healthy Choice Corporate Offices Probably Stocked With Every Kind Of Healthy Choice You Could Imagine

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

OMAHA, NE—Asserting that the workplace had to have multiple huge freezers, sources across the nation reported this week that the break room at the Healthy Choice corporate offices was probably completely stocked with every kind of Healthy Choice product imaginable. Show More Summary

Urban Birds Smarter, Heartier Than Rural Birds

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

McGill University researchers have found that urban bird populations are smarter and have stronger immune systems than birds in the country, scoring higher on cognitive tests and exploiting new resources more than rural birds. What do you think?

Top 5 Signs You Have A Sophisticated Palate

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

You sleep with a fully loaded pepper mill under your pillow every night Each of your 10,000 taste buds has its own favorite free-range, non-GMO restaurant You enter an irreversible catatonic state upon biting into a lukewarm appetizer...Show More Summary

Popular Designer Dog Breed Just Twisted Spinal Cord Attached To Collapsed Lung

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

NEW YORK—Growing quickly in popularity following its official recognition by the American Kennel Club last year, the Toy Whiffle—a floppy-eared collapsed lung loosely attached to a severely twisted spinal column—is now one of the most sought-after designer dog breeds in the country, according to an AKC survey published Thursday. Show More Summary

Bookshop Bans ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Donations

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

A charity bookshop in Wales is imploring patrons not to donate Fifty Shades Of Grey after being inundated with hundreds of copies of the erotic novel, which they will ship to a warehouse to be sold online or recycled. What do you th...

Mattel Releases New Male Barbie To Inspire Girls To Imagine Holding Highest Leadership Positions

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

EL SEGUNDO, CA?In a continued effort to make its iconic line of dolls more representative of today’s culture, Mattel announced the release Friday of its first male Barbie, which it hopes will inspire girls to dream about what it’s like to hold a top-ranking job in the workforce. Show More Summary

Alarming U.N. Report Finds World Lost 40 Million Acres Of Personal Space Last Year

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

NEW YORK—According to an alarming report released Friday by the United Nations, nearly 40 million acres of personal space were lost around the world in 2015, with data showing these vitally important yet extremely vulnerable regions are being wiped out at the fastest rate on record. Show More Summary

Report: Most Parents Willing To Entrust Children To Anyone In Character Costume

4 months agoHumor : The Onion

WASHINGTON—According to a report published this week by sociologists at American University, the vast majority of parents across the country are willing to entrust their children to anyone wearing a plush character costume. “Our data show that roughly 95 percent of all U.S. Show More Summary

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