Blog Profile / The Superficial


URL :http://thesuperficial.com
Filed Under:Pop Culture / Celebrity
Posts on Regator:14193
Posts / Week:39.2
Archived Since:April 22, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Haha! You Have To Look At Paris Hilton All Morning

Alright, folks, we’re going to try this relaunch one more time from the top, and if all goes well, we should be cramming our Commie pinko rants in between pictures of tits around noon EST. In the meantime, enjoy Paris Hilton‘s maybe-implants because there’s no reason why this process shouldn’t be itchy, too. You earned Read More...

Good Morning, Hethielly Beck, And Other News

- Jennifer Aniston doesn’t fake the chicken pox when she doesn’t get nominated for an award. - Tiger Woods should stop going near Elin Nordegren. - The fake baby in American Sniper deserves an Oscar. - This is not helping me stay out of Hilary Duff‘s trash cans. - Read More...

Amber Rose’s Ass Is Your Constant

By the time you’re reading this post, The Superficial should be getting ready to migrate to its new site, so I hope you enjoy staring into Amber Rose‘s b-hole for the next eight (or more) hours. And if you don’t, it’s not like you can complain it about it because the comments will be shut Read More...

Bill Cosby’s Ego In A Nutshell

As I was reading the quote you’re about to see next from Bill Cosby where he sniffs his farts so deeply it’s a goddamn miracle reality didn’t bend itself in half, I remembered Talking Funny an HBO special from a few years back where Louis CK, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and Ricky Gervais (Who produced Read More...

January Jones Really Grasps Feminism

If it hasn’t become evident over the past few months, bullshit like #GamerGate and the reactions to Bill Cosby‘s accusers, along with some nudging from The Fappening which quickly took on rapey undertones, I’ve become more and more sensitive to the plight of women. And I already fully believed they have the right to do Read More...

Lindsay Lohan’s Doing A Super Bowl Commercial

Lindsay Lohan once hit a baby while behind the wheel, so who better to be the face of car insurance than a prominent drug addict who’s been arrested for DUI twice and one time with a hostage? Just don’t ask her about full tort. She’ll think you’re talking about something else, and it’s way too Read More...

Good Morning, Sophia Bush, And Other News

- Tom Hardy just bailed on Suicide Squad and, wait, who’s replacing him? - And now Shannon Doherty shitting on her 90210 castmates. - Taylor Swift has been buying Lorde alcohol. OH NOES! - Miley Cyrus is masturbating on Instagram now. - Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler‘s kids are Read More...

And Now Maitland Ward Kissing A Lady

Alright, folks, here’s a lingerie-clad Maitland Ward doing lesbian stuff to conclude our broadcast week. All your dreams are coming true! We’ll back Monday with some very light blogging because our new site is launching, and don’t worry it’ll still have dick jokes underneath photos of celebrity breasts, so you’ll barely even notice. Especially the Read More...

Bill Cosby: ‘YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME’ (I Might’ve Paraphrased That)

Despite facing protesters in Canada and having shows cancelled in Massachusetts, Bill Cosby is still performing in Denver and wants everyone to know that he’s “far from finished,” a phrase he should probably never, ever use again. E! News reports: “Dear Fans: I have thousands of loyal, patient and courageous fans that are going to Read More...

Ian Somerhalder’s Engaged To Not Nina Dobrev

Posted by Photo Boy Despite what my body and athletic prowess would suggest, I am not a 13 year-old girl, so the only thing I know about Ian Somerhalder is that he’s the guy who tried to bang Dawson in The Rules of Attraction and I used to put pics of his smarmy dickface in Read More...

Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston In The Same Place?! WE’RE GOING DOWN

Because 10 years later lazy gossip writers can still milk this dead horse for all it’s worth in.. dead horse milk (nailed it), here’s both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night effectively testing your minds’ ability to process both of them in the same place at the same time. Read More...

Everybody Cross Your Fingers, Chris Brown Might Go Back To Jail

Posted by Photo Boy Just two Chris Brown posts ago, I suggested he violated his probation by being present at not one, but two incidents where people got shot. Turns out I’m a legal genius, because at a progress hearing yesterday his probation officer recommended that Chris go back to jail and who cares about Read More...

Good Morning, Miss Universe Pageant Swimsuit Runway, And Other News

- That’s Gwyneth Paltrow‘s camel toe. And it’s not even gilded! - Kim Kardashian‘s complaining about the fat ass that made her famous again. - The widow of Jennifer Aniston‘s dead ex is not thrilled with Lady Frippleton. - There’s something called a Blowjob Bib, and Gwyneth Paltrow selling them for Read More...

Help Me, Claudia Romani’s Butt, You’re My Only Hope

Alright, folks, I have some great news: Our photo negotiations almost finished, and without giving too much away, I’m no longer alternating between sucking my thumb and drinking in the corner. Because of depression anyway. Which means soon you won’t have to watch me do soft shoe at the end of the each day, and Read More...

Gwyneth: ‘Men’s Insecurity Depends On How Many Blowjobs You Give Them’

“Haha! And then I said, ‘Well, you’re going to be insecure for a while because that’s not where that thing goes!’ He had sex with mostly groupies after that. It was for the best.” Yesterday, Gwyneth Paltrow did an interview with Howard Stern where she said a goddamn slew of quintessential Gwyneth Paltrow things about Read More...

Mariah Carey Is Doing A Vegas Residency

Posted by Photo Boy Mariah Carey announced her Vegas residency with an Oprahesque “You get tickets! You get tickets!” give away on Ellen. A gift that probably would have been better with, I dunno, plane tickets and a hotel room? Via Time (Wait, hold up. We’re quoting Time? Legitimate news source, Time. When did this Read More...

Justin Bieber’s Dck Is Totes Real, You Guys

Posted by Photo Boy Confidence is a tricky game. As a man, when you get called out, sometimes it’s best to take the high road and not dignify with a response. Or you could pay a top tier legal team to threaten lawsuits against a tiny blog whose bullshit story wouldn’t even make a dent Read More...

Joanna Krupa Is Suing Brandi Glanville For Saying Her Vagina Smells

While the Internet loses it’s mind over Dick Poop (Et tu, PEOPLE?), we’re going to maintain our integrity and write about smelly vaginas. Over a year ago, Brandi Glanville made comments about Joanna Krupa having a stinky pussy and then apparently did it again just last month because someone told her how SEO works. E! Read More...

John Travolta Let A Random Guy At The Gym Photograph His Bald Head

We’ve seen John Travolta’s bald head before. In fact, it made one of our Best Of posts for 2011? Jesus Christ. Anyway, here he is again after introducing himself to this random fellow at 3 a.m. at an empty gym where no one else was working out. Which went awesome if John Travolta’s plan was Read More...

Liam Neeson: ‘There Are Too Many Fcking Guns In America’

“But how will I protect my compound when the gub’mint comes for me?!” Posted by Photo Boy Liam Neeson doesn’t have money, but what he does have is a very specia- gets Batman doll shoved in temple by Fish – It’s cool, man, it’s cool. I forgot we weren’t doing that anymore… I’ll start over. Read More...

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