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Blog Profile / The Superficial


URL :http://thesuperficial.com
Filed Under:Pop Culture / Celebrity
Posts on Regator:13533
Posts / Week:40.5
Archived Since:April 22, 2008

Blog Post Archive

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 4.23

Now that our server has finally stopped crying and repeatedly scrubbing itself in the shower thanks to The Fappening, welcome to the triumphant return of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a robust assortment of shit-tastical comments that I’ve been diligently curating over the past three weeks because you have no idea how Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.12.14

Alright, folks, Photo Boy is still out of town. However, he was gracious enough to slap together The Crap We Missed last night because I never wiped his prints off that ice cream truck. (Inside joke. Or am I thinking of attorney-client privilege?) Anyway, you enjoy this while I fiddle with all the little widgets Read More...

Everybody Hates Ariana Grande

“Oh, yeah, I like this.” – Someone with a probation officer Earlier in the week, Ariana Grande was accused of being a 12-year-old (Shut up, that girl is 12. SHE’S 12!) pain in the ass diva in Australia which she naturally denied. Except here comes Giuliani Rancic with her own tale of dealing with Little Read More...

Rihanna Song Pulled From Thursday Night Football

“HAHAHAHA! I’mma haunt you forever.” Thanks to Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna for looking at his phone, CBS decided to pull “Run This Town” from last night’s Thursday Night Football so people won’t have to think about the NFL only giving Ray Rice a two-game suspension for punching out his fiance and Read More...

Iggy Azalea Admits She’s In A Sex Tape, But Claims She Was Underage

Up until about 30 minutes ago, I couldn’t tell you who or what an Iggy Azalea is, or how she’s standing next to Rita Ora because I just assumed they’re the same person, but now I know that she’s some sort of singer with a Twitter account who just yesterday denied making a sex tape: Read More...

Oscar Pistorius Guilty of Culpable Homicide, But Isn’t Going To Jail

“Should I begin making with the snot?” “Nah, kid, you ain’t going to jail. Save it for the newspapers.” Yesterday, Oscar Pistorius was found not guilty of murder despite firing a gun four times into a closed bathroom killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp who he “thought was an intruder” after just talking her. However, people Read More...

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

- Anna Wintour‘s 73 questions is a class study in non-fuck giving. - Tori Spelling is going to pretend her marriage is in shambles for a second season. - Bouncing Breasts GIFS? Get in there. - Mike Tyson responds well to being asked about that time he raped a woman. Read More...

Amanda Cerny In A Bikini: The Crap I Missed

Alright, folks, Photo Boy is at a funeral today which means no The Crap We Missed and all the Prince Charles that entails. Fortunately, here’s Amanda Cerny in some hot-ass bikini pics to make up for that. It’s almost like she sensed I needed them, but don’t tell Hilary Duff that. Goddammit does she get Read More...

Papa, What’s Porn? A Very Special Bertney Story

A WARNING TO OUR READERS This edition of Bertney tackles the very recent and sensitive subject of her “boyfriend,” for lack of a better term, David Lucado cheating on her with pornographic actress Cali Lee. It’s up to her father Jamie, “Papa” to our readers, to explain to Bertney what went wrong, and we’re sensitive Read More...

The Palins Beat The Shit Out of An Entire Party

“I’ll goshdarn say it again, Moose Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.” In Matthew 5:5 Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Later, in that same chapter, he expands on his message in verse 39: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other Read More...

Peggy From ‘Mad Men’ Is Still In A Bikini

“Alright, Ms. Moss, we gotcher, uh, standard paparazzi agreement here. You make with a boob grab, couple spread eagles, a nice, little seductive over the shoulder, and bada bing bada boom, we cut you a fat juicy check for your space church thingy.” “It’s a Thetan purification center.” “Sure it is, sweetheart. Now gimme yer Read More...

Ray Rice Found Jesus And Stopped Drinking, Everybody, Hallelujah!

While the NFL finds itself in even more shit after a law enforcement official confirmed to the AP that execs had a copy of the Ray Rice elevator video since April, Ray Rice’s handlers are staying focused on making sure they’ve done enough spin before he inevitably plays professional football again next season if not Read More...

Hey, Aaron Carter, Stop Creeping Out My Girlfriend Hilary Duff

Shortly after Hilary Duff separated from Mike Comrie, the proto-Bieber turned freakishly jacked opportunist Aaron Carter professed his undying love for his long lost ex on Twitter which she’s avoided talking about until now. And, surprise, it creeps her right the fuck out. Buzzfeed reports: And then we asked the big question: “Aaron Carter keeps Read More...

Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder

Just in case you think America is the only country where famous athletes can basically do whatever they want to women with little to no legal recourse, Oscar Pistorius was just acquitted of murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp after shooting her four times through a closed bathroom door on Valentine’s Day. The LA Times Read More...

Good Morning, Natalie Burn, And Other News

- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are being spotted in public. This shit’s happening. - Since everyone enjoyed Jared Leto‘s dick so much, here’s Zac Efron‘s hairy nipples. - Redheads Are Masters of The Seductive Arts - Melissa Rivers tells jokes, too. I had no idea. - But will Leighton Read More...

And Now The Jared Leto Dick GIF

A few weeks ago, we learned that Jared Leto has a giant penis with a head shaped like a Praetorian Guard thanks to Alexis Arquette‘s surprisingly accurate knowledge of Roman history. And now here’s a GIF of Jared Leto grabbing said Roman warrior penis from a now-deleted YouTube video of a live 30 Seconds To Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 9.10.14

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, a surprisingly large collection thanks to Fashion Rocks. Admittedly, I don’t know what the fuck that is, but apparently is was brought to you by Butts™ and sponsored by More Butts™. That said, this gallery is almost all female with a few of our favorite dudes sprinkled in, Read More...

Miley Cyrus And The Art of Pineapple Semen

Miley Cyrus‘ “Dirty Hippie” art show opens today, and if you have no idea what that is, congratulations, you only looked at her naked boobs in V Magazine without reading any of the words. We’re kin. Except if you do read the words like I only just now did, you’ll find out that Miley Cyrus Read More...

Why Y’All Booing Justin #BBare? Dat’s Racism!

Lemme get this all straight: Jennifer Lopez can flash her granny ass all over da stage, but da second my sexy, young boy #BBare gives y’all some dark sexual chocolate, mothafuckas be booing his ass? Dat’s some Rodney King shit right here. Next you gonna tell me my boy can’t drink from da same water Read More...

You Kids Want Ass? Jennifer Lopez Will Give You Ass

With Nicki Minaj cornering the ass market, it’s important to remember that it was Jennifer Lopez – NOT EVER KIM KARDASHIAN. – who brought giant butts into the mainstream. So here she is performing at Fashion Rocks last night while flashing her 45-year-old ass or be forever banished into the wilderness in this post-Miley Cyrus Read More...

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