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Blog Profile / The Superficial


URL :http://thesuperficial.com
Filed Under:Pop Culture / Celebrity
Posts on Regator:13760
Posts / Week:40.5
Archived Since:April 22, 2008

Blog Post Archive

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 4.28

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, and surprise, they’re all about Renee Zellweger‘s face. Okay, maybe not every single one is about her face, but they just as easily could’ve been, there were that many to choose from. So dig in, and if you think whatever Renee Zellweger Read More...

Mama June’s Pedophile Boyfriend Molested Her Daughter Chickadee

And here comes the dark, disturbing ending everyone knew was coming. Mama June Shannon‘s daughter Anna Cardwell – Chickadee to fans of the show – has come forward and not only identified herself as the 8-year-old victim Mark McDaniel forced to perform oral sex, but shot down Mama June’s bullshit video denying she’s back together Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.24.14

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which has Scout, Tallulah, and Rumer, so it’s got more Willis than a Chinese phone book if I’m reading this 101 Catskills Jokes book correctly. Was that racist? If not, then the immediate thought of Captain Black Sparrow popping in my head when at the sight of this Read More...

Taylor Swift’s Camel Toe: Ain’t Nothing Controversial About That

It’s been a hell of a day full of child molesters, death treats over gun control, 12-year-olds getting implants, and more child molesters, so here’s Taylor Swift‘s camel toe which is about as plain, vanilla, and non-controversial as it gets. You could show it to people with anxiety and it’d put them right to sleep, Read More...

Stephen Collins To Faye Grant: ‘Now I Can’t Make Money Anymore. FACE.’

“Aw yeah, totally can’t make money anymore because people think I’m a child molester. SUCK IT!” Now that Stephen Collins is a complete Hollywood pariah after he allegedly confessed to molesting children during a therapy session secretly recorded by his wife Faye Grant, him and his lawyer thought it’d be clever to point out that Read More...

Ariana Grande Isn’t Getting Implants. I’m Sorry?

Apparently there’s a rumor going around that Ariana Grande was getting a boob job to make her boyfriend Big Sean happy despite the fact he dumped his girlfriend Naya Rivera right after she got hers. But Ariana’s reps are denying those reports which seems unnecessary because she’s 12 and everyone knows 12-year-olds can’t get breast Read More...

Chrissy Teigen Quits Twitter Thanks To Death Threats From Gun Nuts

If the Internet has proven itself to be anything these days, it’s an absolute butthouse of whiny man-children violently threatening women who dare say words about their precious toys. Only this time, it’s not about games for once, but about another beloved toy that totally isn’t dangerous, you guys, but if you say something about Read More...

‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Is Cancelled

After news broke yesterday that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo star Mama June Shannon is dating her ex-boyfriend Mark McDaniels a convicted child molester who forced oral sex on an 8-year-old relative of June’s, TLC has officially cancelled the show because this guy’s trying to bang the Honey Boo Boo Child. That’s clearly the sick Read More...

Good Morning, JLo’s Butt, And Other News

- What exactly does Kate Middleton do? I’m seriously asking. - All the sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey had to be reshot. I bet there wasn’t enough pube pulling. - Bouncing Breasts GIFs, anyone? - Liberals made Bristol Palin get drunk and start a fight or something. - Read More...

Matthew McConaughey Said Some Stupid Shit About The Redskins

Matthew McConaughey is the cover interview for the new issue of GQ which is an incredible read for anyone who’s currently obsessed with the McConaissance to a fault like I am. (And, yes, he’s aware of the term: “It’s a cool word. It sounds good. It’s got a good meter.”) Except you’ve probably heard by Read More...

Blake Lively’s Pregnant Body Won The Angel Ball

Normally, pregnancy is God’s way of cursing woman for using their filthy vagina holes for sex, but sometimes it can result a in beautiful transformation instead of the Beast of the Apocalypse. And such is the case with Blake Lively who took time away from running a website full of plagiarism and the hottest slaveowner Read More...

Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

- I have yet to hear one bad thing about Birdman. - Bethenny Frankel‘s mom seems nice. - Jenna Handed To You On A Silver Platter - Sean Hannity invited Russell Brand onto his show, then had security kick him out. - This is a link to penises wearing heels Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.20.14

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed that features Aunt Becky & DJ after a sweaty workout, Roman Polanski posing with monsters, and Antonio Sabato Jr.‘s penis, so exactly everything, in order, from my dream last night, except…averts terrified eyes from gallery, slowly returns gaze…If Maitland Ward‘s greasy nipples are in here, I might lose Read More...

And Now Back To Celebrities: What Are They Doing With Their Vaginas?

After the depressing one-two punch (poor choice of words) of Stephen Collins getting off (and I did it again) scot-free and Ray Rice being reinstated next month, I thought we could use some lighter fare. So here’s Miley Cyrus doing wacky stuff with her vulva because she’s not Hannah Montana anymore blah blah blah drugs. Read More...

Ray Rice Could Be Reinstated Next Month

After TMZ published footage showing Ray Rice knocking his fiance out in an elevator which the NFL almost definitely saw, he was suspended indefinitely by the league after getting just a two-game suspension and a pat on the back from the Ravens. From there, it’s been one perpetual fuck-up after the other including an extensive Read More...

Jena Malone Is Probably Batfleck’s Robin

So here’s what we know about Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice: It’s heavily influenced by The Dark Knight Returns. In The Dark Knight Returns, Robin is a redhead girl named Carrie Kelley. Jena Malone has red hair which is already way more information than the Internet needs to wildly speculate, but here’s an overly-talkative Read More...

Jennifer Lopez Still Makes Videos With Fat Joe

For the rest of her natural life, Jennifer Lopez will never make a video that’s better than “Booty.” These are facts. However, that still won’t stop me from posting the new video for Fat Joe’s “Stressin” because there’s nothing more with the times than tone-deaf rap videos where rich people brag about how awesome and Read More...

Kim Kardashian’s Endorsement Demands Are As Ridiculous As Her Ass

Most, if not all, of Kim Kardashian‘s services can be purchased through Kris Jenner. And if you think that’s an exaggeration, here’s Kim accepting an Austrian businessman’s money to be his date to the 2014 Opera Ball in Vienna while engaged to Kanye West. In fact, I ran the numbers on how many times Warren Read More...

Stephen Collins Won’t Be Charged With Child Molestation. Yup.

Despite audio tapes where he allegedly confesses to molesting several children, Stephen Collins will not be facing any charges from the recently re-opened investigations by the NYPD and LAPD because the statute of limitations has expired. So not only is that awful, but I’m pretty sure this is how Freddy Krueger got started, and now Read More...

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