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Blog Profile / The Superficial


URL :http://thesuperficial.com
Filed Under:Pop Culture / Celebrity
Posts on Regator:13936
Posts / Week:40.5
Archived Since:April 22, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Kate Upton’s Breasts Shill Free-To-Play Games Now

Last week’s South Park episode amazingly shit all over freemium games as it should. Except here are Kate Upton‘s bouncing breasts telling me to play one which I’m probably going to do because the sole purpose of a penis is to bankrupt and ultimately kill whoever it’s attached to. Think of it like Superman and Read More...

Mama June: ‘TMZ Photoshopped Me Next To A Child Molester’

Mama June has been working the talk show circuit to clear her name and make money after she basically forced TLC to cancel Here Comes Honey Boo Boo by leaving Sugar Bear for her ex-boyfriend convicted child molester Mark McDaniel who, by the way, also raped her daughter Anna Cardwell when she was eight. And Read More...

Michelle Lewin Has A Butt, Too, And Other News

- Mila Kunis does not have post-partum depression. Don’t be assholes. - Why does Jennifer Aniston have one satin-wrapped tit out? - Congratulations, Kylie Jenner, you look like the oldest Kardashian now. - Kim Kardashian‘s ass is a Keurig now. - Taylor Swift took Amanda Seyfried to her first basketball Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 11.13.14

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the closest Josh Hutcherson is ever going to get to Jennifer Lawrence‘s O-Face and Bill Cosby looking like he’s passed out, so go ahead and make more rape jokes, or you know, accuse his accusers of being opportunistic, conspiratorial sluts who couldn’t possibly have been convinced to Read More...

Amanda Bynes Was Never Homeless, Let’s Stop Believing Her Shit

After being photographed sleeping inside a mall, it’s just been assumed that Amanda Bynes is homeless because her parents have a conservatorship over her finances. Plus Heidi Montag‘s huge cartoon tits offered her a place to stay, and it seemed like a good idea to believe them and give them my social security number. Anyway, Read More...

Jennifer Lawrence Can’t Take More Naked Pictures If You Kill Her, People

Here’s Jennifer Lawrence outside The Late Show with David Letterman where later that night, she’d walk over to sign some fan’s autographs only to have them kick down a metal barrier, sending her fleeing to her car. And if you think I’m going to try and pin this on the fuckers at 4chan who hacked Read More...

Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Wants To Crowdfund A Booty Onto Taylor Swift

Despite promising myself an ass hiatus after yesterday’s 2014 Buttella Festival, I still have precious SEO to milk into my mouth, so here’s Katy Perry‘s boyfriend publicly insulting the spot where Taylor Swift‘s butt should be: Get Taylor Swift A Booty https://t.co/RpkB8JExSV — BABY DADDY (@diplo) November 12, 2014 As for why Diplo would do Read More...

Mama June: ‘Pumpkin’s Father Is A Different Child Molester, Alright?’

I’m going to be completely honest here. After yesterday’s Kim Kardashian Naked FUPA Emporium, I actually miss these simple country folks, and their horrifying shit-pit of codependency filled with child molesters. It’s practically quaint. But enough about why I have tears in my ears, here’s Mama June explaining to Entertainment Tonight why Mark McDaniel, the Read More...

Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

- Maybe Joaquin Phoenix could’ve handled being in the Marvel machine. - Leonardo DiCaprio‘s birthday party was 80% models. Of course. - Niecy Nash knows the secret to a happy marriage and it’s blowjays. Constant blowjays. - Why Would You Ever Get Out of Bed? - Naya Rivera did not Read More...

Kim Kardashian’s Vagina Is Naked Now

Apparently her naked ass wasn’t enough to #BreakTheInternet, so here’s Kim Kardashian going full frontal for Paper where I’m guess they’re hoping her FUPA will get the job done even though we already saw Kate Upton‘s and with a baseball player’s semen on it. Does Kim Kardashian’s FUPA have a baseball player’s semen on it? Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 11.12.14

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, starting with Courtney Stodden‘s Veteran’s Day tribute in which she naturally felt the best way to show our troops gratitude was to flash them an old transvestite man’s tucked penis in a bikini. If that offended you — and if you possess a U.S. passport by all means Read More...

Kim Kardashian Is Showing Off Her Ass Before She Gets Pregnant Again

So remember the beginning of Raiders of The Lost Ark when Indiana Jones is running away from the giant boulder? Picture my day exactly like that except Indy just turns around and goes, “Aw, fuck it.” TMZ reports: Kim Kardashian shot the instantly iconic ass photo because it’s her last stand before getting pregnant again Read More...

Chelsea Handler’s Butt Is Naked Now

Despite claiming to quit Instagram not even two weeks ago after her naked breasts were pulled down three times (Not a milking joke.), Chelsea Handler is back already. Only this time with her naked butt which she thinks is somehow mocking Kim Kardashian‘s even though that would take no less than 15 of Chelsea’s taped Read More...

ESPN Ripped Off Daniel Tosh, Here’s His Response

Because there should be at least one post that isn’t about Kim Kardashian’s naked ass, here’s Daniel Tosh calling out ESPN for ripping off his Web Redemption segment so blatantly they didn’t even change the name. That’s like robbing a bank then walking around dressed like the Beagle Boys. And yes, that was a Duck Read More...

Khloe Kardashian Tried To Steal Kim’s Ass Thunder

Just hours before Kim Kardashian’s naked butt was scheduled to be dragged across the Internet like a dog with worms tainting everything in its path (Case in point: There’s another post about it coming up later today.), Khloe shared the above meme on Instagram because you know what the Internet hardly ever loses its mind Read More...

Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Their Own Reality Show

Posted by Photo Boy Because the world is a giant stockpot of diarrhea and reality television is the spoon that stirs it, it’s only right that Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg get to make their own deposit. When reached for comment, the couple dropped this verbal nugget and yes I’m going to just keep making Read More...

Good Morning, Brina Chantal, And Other News

- Something about Jennifer Aniston and a cock ring if I’m reading this right. - Jennifer Lawrence will never join Twitter because she hates you, Internet. - Please stop giving a shit about Eminem lyrics. He doesn’t matter anymore. - The Vixen Is Elizabeth Hancock - This dad wins the Read More...

Kim Kardashian’s Butt Is Naked

So I’m going to talk sexually about Kim Kardashian’s naked ass for a minute because I’m pretty sure it’s not on the cover of Paper to spark a discussion on common core. In fact, legend has it, there are words written beneath her ass that say it’s here to “break the Internet,” but we lost Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 11.11.14

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that has Lindsay Lohan in the lead position instead of Kelly Brook, because true story, Fish made me switch them out when he sensed my momentary lack of self-loating. It doesn’t matter since I would have gotten there pretty quickly as soon as I reviewed these pics of Read More...

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Marilyn Monroe Now

Posing as Marilyn Monroe is some Lindsay Lohan shit, so imagine my surprise to see Gwyneth Paltrow posing as her for Max Factor. This is literally the most pedestrian thing I’ve seen her do in my life. It’ll be a miracle if they let her back into Britain. Or the ivory bazaar. Then where will Read More...

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