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Blog Profile / The Superficial


URL :http://thesuperficial.com
Filed Under:Pop Culture / Celebrity
Posts on Regator:13917
Posts / Week:40.5
Archived Since:April 22, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Marilyn Monroe Now

Posing as Marilyn Monroe is some Lindsay Lohan shit, so imagine my surprise to see Gwyneth Paltrow posing as her for Max Factor. This is literally the most pedestrian thing I’ve seen her do in my life. It’ll be a miracle if they let her back into Britain. Or the ivory bazaar. Then where will Read More...

Maitland Ward Is Naked In Space Or Something

Full Disclosure: We are crazy buttslammed from the Bill Cosby memes, so here’s a practically naked Maitland Ward on the set of Descent Into The Maelstrom which is apparently an actual movie and not the porn parody for Interstellar. I have no idea how that happened, so please don’t ask. THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Read More...

Mama June’s Letting Pumpkin Believe The Child Molester Is Her Real Dad

It’s been a while since we peered into the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo spittoon, and surprise, it’s still getting more awful by the minute. Which is pretty amazing considering the last post was about Mama June letting Honey Boo Boo sleep in the same bed as the child molester who already raped one daughter Read More...

The Bill Cosby Meme Generator Went Well

Yesterday, the absolutely have-to-fired people in charge of Bill Cosby’s Twitter account thought it’d be a fantastic idea to ask Twitter to “meme him” not even three weeks after Hannibal Buress turned “Bill Cosby rape into a trending topic, so it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how all of that went. By the Read More...

Jennifer Lawrence’s Nipples Tried To Seduce Lorde

The last time we saw new pics of Jennifer Lawrence, she was not spread eagle on a couch in a series of nude leaked photos. You imagined that. But what you aren’t imagining is her breasts popping out of her dress while she’s in the back seat of a car with Lorde. Her weird, oddly Read More...

Abigail Ratchford Bikini Photos And Other News

- Superman‘s looking tight I mean Amy Adams in that pants suit. - Britney Spears‘ dad handpicked her new boyfriend because my Bertney Stories are 100% accurate. - Kendra Wilkinson is DTF? I think that’s what she’s saying? - Girls Night Out - Taylor Swift‘s “1989? is the first million-selling Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.10.14

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I boldly make a claim that will send shock waves through the universe which is populated by the fourteen or so regular people who click through and comment on every one of these pics. But before we get to that, can I start you guys off with Read More...

Those Are Khloe Kardashian’s Nipples

I used up all my word juice on the Bertney post, so for these pics of Khloe Kardashian‘s nipples at French Montana‘s birthday party all you get is me saying, I thought Sasquatches birthed litters. Why aren’t there six of them? Now enjoy these spilling into the pics of her insane buttpud because I love/hate Read More...

Bertney’s Special New Berfend

Bertney’s Special New Berfend A Learning About Genders Reader Bertney loved having a boyfriend, and Papa always found the nicest ones to take Bertney to all of her favorite places to eat: The Cheesecake Factory, McDonald’s, Johnny Rockets, McDonald’s again, Red Robin, Taco Bell, and if she was really good, Chuck E. Cheese. It was Read More...

Nick Jonas Having Sex Broke The Internet

The Jonas Brothers used to be a squeaky clean pop band who wore purity rings and were terrified of girls. Now they’re grabbing their dicks, doing whatever the hell it is Joe Jonas does with his time, and fucking on camera for TV shows. Which brings us to Nick Jonas‘ sex scene for Kingdom where Read More...

Selena Gomez’s Breasts Wore This

There’ve been enough awful posts over the past two weeks that everyone should know how this works: I write about something terrible like child abuse, and then follow it up with pictures of sexually attractive celebrities so everyone’s distracted with an erection and/or how simple and disgusting men are. It’s fucking crazy effective. On that Read More...

In Response To Adrian Peterson’s Super Dad Tweet

The “whooping” – as Peterson put it when interviewed by police – occurred in Spring, Texas, in May. Peterson’s son had pushed another one of Peterson’s children off of a motorbike video game. As punishment, Peterson grabbed a tree branch – which he consistently referred to as a “switch” – removed the leaves and struck Read More...

Chelsea Handler’s Topless Again

Because your god is dead, Chelsea Handler is continuing her topless assault on social media and subjecting everyone to her naked breasts on Twitter: Exercising my human right to work side by side with my fellow man. #amazon #freethenipple Keep in mind, Chelsea Handler was enjoying a luxury vacation on the Amazon where people lack Read More...

Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn? Jared Leto’s The Joker? WTF’s Happening?

Over the weekend, news broke that Jared Leto is in talks to play The Joker in Suicide Squad because Warner Bros. is clearly in the business of going, “You already did what on Arrow? Fuck you.” (See, also: Ezra Miller, The Flash) And now Collider is reporting that the insanely hot Margot Robbie is Harley Read More...

Good Morning, Alessandra Ambrosio, And Other News

- Charlie Hunnam‘s odds for being PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive. - Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs were seen in public. I’m so sorry, people still into Twilight. - Megan Fox in lingerie covered with blood, anyone? - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems - Cara Delevingne‘s dating a dude now. Read More...

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 4.29

And The Most Important People on The Internet is back. So how’s everybody doing? How’s your weekend going so far? Maybe doing a little Christmas shopping? Well, fuck all that, because you’re sitting in front of your computer and reading horrible-ass shit about celebrities. You’re a grown up and no one can tell you how Read More...

The Crap We Missed – Friday 11.7.14

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where Lindsay Lohan just made you Google ‘cost of living with HIV.’ Don’t feel bad about it, you’re not alone, but seriously don’t let her touch you, are you fucking crazy? Aside from her it’s mostly butts, a few dumb-looking dudes, and a corpse person in here, so Read More...

Jerry Seinfeld Thinks He Has Autism

In an interview with NBC Nightly News last night, Jerry Seinfeld told Brian Williams he “believes” he has autism which naturally made the whole Internet gasp because somehow this is Jenny McCarthy‘s fault. It has to be: “I think on a very drawn-out scale, I think I’m on the spectrum,” said Seinfeld. “Basic social engagement Read More...

Heidi Montag: ‘Amanda Bynes Can Live With Me!’

After TMZ posted photos of Amanda Bynes sleeping inside a mall because she’s essentially homeless now, Heidi Montag has graciously shoved her breasts into the press again and offered Amanda a place to stay. But if Heidi somehow thinks that’s going to make the Internet start posting photos of her giant fake breasts again, she’s Read More...

Jessa Duggar Wasn’t Fucking In A Church

Yesterday, a widely-circulated – and still uncorrected – rumor started flying around the Internet that Jessa Duggar got caught fucking inside the church immediately after her wedding ceremony. Except with just a little bit of digging, Vince Mancini at FilmDrunk easily figured out the source of the rumor, a blog called My Life As A Read More...

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