Blog Profile / Waiter Rant
| URL : | http://waiterrant.net/ | |
|---|---|---|
| Filed Under: | Customer Service / Food Service | |
| Posts on Regator: | 176 | |
| Posts / Week: | 0.8 | |
| Archived Since: | December 20, 2008 | |
Blog Post Archive
Missing
A friend of mine’s son went missing last week. (Click to enlarge photo) Missing: Nycal Velasquez Filipino, 21 years old Height: 5’10 Weight: 140 lbs. Slender, brown complexion Short black hair Black eyes If seen, contact Detective Lou Viello at … Continue reading ?
The Hero’s Song
I was surfing the internet when I found a trailer for the upcoming Superman movie, Man of Steel. When I was done watching it I realized I had tears in my eyes. As I get older, I find myself choking … Continue reading ?
My Trader Joe’s Phobia
Annie loves Trader Joe’s. I mean loves them. I’m surprised the company’s logo isn’t tattooed on her butt. Until I met her, however, I had never stepped inside one of their stores. I’ve experienced jihadist attachment to supermarkets before. I … Continue reading ?
There’s No Escape
Annie loves estate-sales. So, after sampling wedding cakes at a bakery in Park Ridge, we decide to harness our chocolate ganache-boosted energy levels and drive to a sale on the other side of town. Park Ridge is a very affluent … Continue reading ?
Fifty-Million Dollar Pussy.
Annie and I are watching a news story about billionaire George Soros on television. His 27-year-old ex-girlfriend, miffed that the financier gave a New York City apartment he allegedly promised her to another woman, is suing him for fifty million … Continue reading ?
Tu Est Petrus?
I am what could be generously called a lapsed Catholic. But even if I become an atheist Buddhist with Zoroastrian tendencies, I am and will forever be a former seminarian. Even though I was never ordained, the experience left an … Continue reading ?
Going to An Institution
Got engaged today. Fiancée and ring are doing well. I am a very lucky man.
Huff Post Live
I participated in a fun panel on tipping at Huff Post Live. You can find it archived here. Enjoy. Man I look pasty!
The Other
It’s a crystal clear Saturday afternoon and I’m at party in my friend’s new house. An expensive affair of glass and wood, it stands glorious and serene on a vast plain. “My nearest neighbor is ten miles away,” my friend crows as I offer him the obligatory bottle of wine. “I’ve always wanted to get [...]
Waiter Rant on Sale!
I just noticed that Amazon is selling the paperback edition of Waiter Rant for $10.19! A steal! Sorry I haven’t been around much. Things are very busy over here! Back soon.
Room for Debate
I wrote a small Op-ed about entitled parents and restaurants for the Room for Debate section of the New York Times. Enjoy! Let the hate mail begin!
Razor
It’s Monday morning and I’m in the bathroom performing my morning ablutions. After taking a hot shower with lots of soap, shampoo and conditioner, I towel off and go to the sink to shave. Not my favorite thing. Today, however, I’m trying something different. After lathering up my face, I open my medicine cabinet and [...]
Crazy Sexy
I need to refill my Lipitor prescription so I walk into the local Rite Aid with Ann in tow. “I’ll check my blood pressure while you’re waiting,” Ann says. Ann’s blood pressure is perfect, but she has a strange fetish. She likes the crushing feeling of a blood pressure cuff on her arm. She also [...]
You Must Be This Young to Ride This Ride
It’s Tuesday night and I’m walking through the Meadowland’s State Fair with my girlfriend, Ann. The weather is cool and breezy and attendance is sparse. That’s good because I won’t have to wait to get on a ride. And man, I love amusement park rides. “So what ride do you want to go on first?” [...]
Headline News
This is last minute, but I’ll be on Headline News at 5:40 today. I’m talking about automatic gratuities. Some restaurant called the cops on some people who wouldn’t pay! Should be fun.
Anderson Cooper
Hello again. Just wanted to let you know I’ll be on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show tomorrow afternoon. (May 1) Please check your local listings for showtimes. Guess what? Anderson was a waiter once too! I knew I liked the guy.
Welcome!
If you’ve come to this website after watching 20/20, welcome! Most of my waiter stories can be found in the archives dating from 2004-2009. After that, you’ll find some fiction I wrote and some observations I’ve made about life. I hope you enjoy all my stories! And yes, you can buy Waiter Rant or my [...]
20/20
Hey everybody. I’ll be on ABC’s 20/20 this Friday night at 10PM. Set your DVRs!
A Little Part of You Dies
(Another Byrne story I wrote for fun. Comments and free editorial suggestions welcome.) Hoboken used to be a tough town filled with stevedores and working stiffs until a wave of New York real estate fetishists crossed the Hudson back in the 90’s and turned it into an oblast of Manhattan. As I walked down Washington [...]