Blog Profile / Waiter Rant

Filed Under:Customer Service / Food Service
Posts on Regator:98
Posts / Week:0.2
Archived Since:December 20, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Spinning The Trivial and Unique Away

My wife was sick as a dog on Tuesday so I had to take my daughter to day care. As we drove towards her school I noticed my daughter was very quiet. Turning down the jazz playing on the radio I looked at her in The post Spinning The Trivial and Unique Away appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Letter of Last Resort

My friend Mike was a sailor on a “boomer” – a ballistic nuclear submarine. After spending most of his youth underwater on a reactor powered vessel crammed with nuclear warheads he likes to joke that he still glows in the dark. “So what was the The post Letter of Last Resort appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Torches & Pitchforks

A few months after we moved into our new house I got a tax assessment letter from Town Hall declaring that my home had doubled in value. That was good news and bad news. The good news was the new assessment roughly equated to the The post Torches & Pitchforks appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Police Car

I work for a town government and we have rules. One of those rules is that you cannot use a personal vehicle when conducting town business. If you need to go somewhere you have to sign out a municipal vehicle. The first time I ever The post Police Car appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Man of Faith

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I decided to give Peach Dish, one of those online “dinner in a box” companies, a try. I selected two dishes from their slick website, paid with my Amazon account and within a few days a large The post Man of Faith appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Shogun of Suds

I’m forty-seven years old and I’ve never owned a washing machine. Once I moved out of my parents’ house life was one Laundromat after another. When I think of all the quarters I dropped into washing machines of dubious sanitary quality I probably could’ve bought The post Shogun of Suds appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Beyond Confusion

Last Saturday night my wife and I sent our daughter to her grandmother’s and went to a nice restaurant for dinner. It was the kind of place where you can drop a hundred bucks in a few bites. Now that we’re homeowners Annie and I The post Beyond Confusion appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Nature & Grace

A couple of days ago I was in a horrible mood. Overwhelmed and angry, I felt like the world was conspiring against me. It wasn’t of course, but if you had tried pointing out my delusional thinking I would’ve ripped your head off. Just as The post Nature & Grace appeared first on Waiter Rant.


When I saw that picture of the little Syrian boy lying dead on the beach I burst into tears. I wanted to write something about the Syrian refugee crisis but failed. The photo says it all. (Caution: Disturbing image) That picture is a silent scream. The post Scream appeared first on Waiter Rant.

How Waiting Tables Prepares You for Baby’s First Month

(This is a guest post written by Matt Abraham. If you’ve ever waited tables and have children, you’ll relate. Enjoy!) I was terrified when I had my kid four weeks ago. He was tiny and fragile, screaming and shaking, and all I knew was that The post How Waiting Tables Prepares You for Baby’s First Month appeared first on Waiter Rant.

New & Different

I lived in my old apartment for twelve years. Intimate with every corner and creaking board I could walk through it blindfolded. I knew the sounds the building made, how it smelled and where the light and shadows fell. Familiar … Continue reading ?

The Sewing Machine

When my wife moved into my apartment three and a half years ago I said to my mother, “If we survive this process we’ll probably get married.” Whenever two people begin the nitty-gritty process of becoming a couple the sparks … Continue reading ?

The Tree of Life

“The answer is no.” “What’s your problem?” my wife said, exasperated. “This house is great!” “The oil tank’s rusted, the yard will flood, the layout is weird, and the kitchen’s from the 70’s. Besides the school system sucks.” The realtor … Continue reading ?

A Man’s Got to Know His Limitations

I’m at the Laundromat with my daughter washing her clothes. As Natalie sits in her car seat playing with her doll, I think for the hundredth time how I have to buy a house. My own washer and dryer would … Continue reading ?


I’m driving to work when my wife calls me on my cellphone. Answering using the hands free gizmo my car is immediately filled with the wails of a crying baby. “Natalie burned herself,” my wife says, choking back tears. “How?” … Continue reading ?

Burn and Rave

I’ve been floated up to the geriatric psych ward and I’m not happy. When I was younger I didn’t sweat working with old people. Back then old age and death seemed impossibly far away. Now, with my fiftieth birthday in … Continue reading ?

Mean Little Spaces

It’s five-thirty and I’ve just finished the lovely sandwich my wife made for me when Hakim sticks his head in the break room. “Can you do me a favor?” the young nurse asks. “Sure.” “You know that new patient in … Continue reading ?

Zombies and Tacos

If you’ve ever waited tables, at some point in your nocturnal life, you’ve had a “waiter dream.” These nightmares usually share common thematic elements; you’ve got a hundred customers who all hate you, the restaurant’s layout is bizarrely different, the … Continue reading ?

Halloween Isn’t What It Used To Be

Having a baby has made 2014 a year of firsts so, when Halloween rolls around, my wife and I get into gear. After dressing Natalie up as Snow White we run over to an arts and crafts store, hit up … Continue reading ?

Mischief Night

I’m on the checkout line in the supermarket when a teenaged boy comes up to me with an extra large carton of eggs. “Excuse me, sir.” he says. “Could you buy these eggs for me?” My shopping cart is loaded … Continue reading ?

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