|Filed Under:||Customer Service / Food Service|
|Posts on Regator:||176|
|Posts / Week:||0.8|
|Archived Since:||December 20, 2008|
It’s late Thursday night and my girlfriend and I have just returned from a long road trip only to discover that we’re hungry. So we stop into the local TGIF’s to get a bite to eat. TGIF is not my first choice but, due to the hour, all other culinary options have closed “Hi,” I [...]
Willem was the shit and he knew it. Gliding past the waiters and busboys flitting across The Bistro’s polished wooden floors he was in the zone – his sixth waiter sense whispering when his orders would be up, whose drinks were running low and separating the good tippers from the bad. It was eight o’clock [...]
It’s Saturday night and my girlfriend is pulling her car into her apartment building’s driveway. We’ve just come back from a nice dinner but a brutal, hard rain is falling. Even with the wipers going full blast we can’t see two car lengths ahead of us. Now my girlfriend’s building has two parking lots: one [...]
When I was ten years old a movie came out that blew me away. Superman. I loved it so much that every weekend I begged my father for five bucks so my little brother and I could watch Christopher Reeve save California and Hackensack, NJ over and over again. We could do that because movies [...]
When I was a waiter I saw and heard about restaurant owners and managers pulling all sorts of illegal nonsense. Here are a few of them. 1. Telling a new hire that they wouldn’t be paid during their two week “probationary period” and then, when that expired, cut them loose. 2. A restaurant owner illegally [...]
I’m smoking a thirteen-dollar Maduro in an expensive cigar store in a rich town. Normally I don’t spend so much on pricey smokes but I like this place. And they have leather chairs you can sink into and forget your troubles until the last ash falls. “I can’t believe that guy fucked me,” the old [...]
I was surfing the Internet when I came across an article about a guy named Harold Camping who claims the world is coming to an end. According to good ‘ol Harry, May 21, 2011 will be Judgment Day and the rapture (The taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will occur. Then the whole [...]
Well, I’m going to bed after a kick ass Italian Christmas Eve party. Now where in the world did I put my Alka-Seltzer? Man, don’t ever let me near anisette and anisette cookies again. Merry Christmas everyone! And to my non-Christain, atheist, and agnostic readers – enjoy the movies and Chinese food! And if you [...]
Over my many years writing about people who depend on gratuities aggrieved people, usually skinflints, have written in to tell me that if tipped workers don’t like the money they’re making they should endeavor to make alternate employment arrangements. But what really struck me as odd was a comment made by a reader concerning a [...]
I’m sitting in the cigar shop again, basking in my post Today Show glory when Philo comes in to pick up a smoke on his way to work. “I got a six hundred dollar tip today,” he crows. “That’s great I say. “Congrats.” “That shit when right into my pocket.” “Righteous. How are the other [...]
If you’re like me, you were horrified to watch that video of Clay Duke shooting up a school board meeting in Panama City, Florida. Ranting incoherently, Mr. Duke was shot by a security guard and then took his own life. Luckily no innocent people were killed. Of course the media and blogosphere are filled with [...]
Hey everybody. Sorry I’ve been away so long. Been busy. And I’m going to be talking to Matt Lauer on The Today Show tomorrow morning! Tune in around 8:30. Happy Holidays!
I’m sitting in my cigar shop puffing on a Maduro when Philo, a doorman who works in an exclusive Upper West Side building, walks in. “Hey Philo,” I say. “How are the Christmas tips going?” “Jesus Christ,” he says. “The tenants are already starting to bitch about it.” “Really?” “I’ve got this woman,” Philo says. [...]
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You have two things to do today. 1. Vote 2. Buy Keep the Change And not necessarily in that order!
I’m at a McCormick and Schmick’s restaurant with a date. As we peruse the cocktail menu I see a drink that almost gives me an orgasm – a dirty Grey Goose martini with olives stuffed with blue cheese and bacon. “I’m so getting that,” I tell my date. “Vodka, cheese and bacon,” she says. “Three [...]
I’m standing in the middle of a corn maze in Chester, New Jersey and I’m pissed. “I hope you’re happy,” I say to my friend Alicia. “We’re lost.” “What’s the point of going to a corn maze if you don’t get lost?” she says. “That’s the fun part.” When a guy goes into a maze [...]
I’ll also be at these places! Wednesday, November 17th Barnes & Noble at Boston University Bookstore 660 Beacon Street Boston, Massachusetts 7:00 PM Monday, November 22nd RJ Julia Booksellers 768 Boston Post Rd. Madison, Connecticut 7:00 PM
Keep the Change is coming out November 2nd and I’ll be hitting the road for a book tour. Here’s a list of the dates and places. If you can make it, I’d love to see you! Wednesday, November 03, 2010 07:30 PM BARNES & NOBLE 395 Route 3 E Clifton, NJ 07014 Thursday, November 04, [...]
I’m driving along a Jersey highway when I see a sign that reads, The Mall at Short Hills. “God, I hate that,” I say to my friend Alicia. “The Mall at Short Hills. So friggin pretentious.” For those of you who have never heard of the place, The Short Hills Mall is one of those [...]