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|Archived Since:||January 22, 2010|
If, as it has been said, "some people give birth to children and some give birth to culture," then for the 20 percent of us who are not biological mothers, it is important to acknowledge that we have, in fact, been culture mothers, the mothers of necessity, the mothers of invention.
Yes, tough girls do wear tutus. I thank my mother for this wisdom and freedom, a woman who allowed the tension of opposites to live in me, while at the same time she didn't so much for herself.
Now... I'm a mother. And now I'm praying for my children. And now I worry about their regularity and whether they got "there" safely. And now I need a mother worrying about me worrying about my children.
This is perhaps the most honest conversation I have ever had with my mom about becoming a mother at 23, going to Mississippi in the sumer of 1964, and participating in the feminist movement, and about the legacy she hopes to leave behind.
My pleasure simply doesn't come, like my mother's, from carrying a heavy pack up Mt. Everest or sleeping on a mat in a tent in the rain. Instead, it comes from dancing, Pilates, reading, and movies -- but that's OK!
The truth is, being a mom hasn't removed the part of me that was also a daughter, and sometimes Mother's Day is just a painful reminder of her absence. So what can one do to make Mother's Day less painful and a lot more joyful?
I'm lucky enough to have one of life's great blessings: I like and respect my grown kids, and the feelings are mutual. Still, we're not on a first-name basis. I want my children to call me Mother or any of its sweet variations.
After the stroke, my mother no longer remembered all the good times we'd shared. Even though my name was the first she uttered aloud, it quickly lost meaning when she proceeded to call everyone else Padma as well.
"Well-behaved" children give mom the ultimate break: relief from the constant exhaustion, exasperation and embarrassment of misbehavior.
Most of our kids know that killing is "bad." So the celebration of this man's death certainly has the potential to generate confusion in our children.
Here are some moms doing important things we can all learn from.
When missing my son's presence washes through me as a kind of grief, I can go out into the garden, sit on a bench made from old country stones and inhale the jasmine he brought 3,000 miles across the country to make me smile.
It started with a mysterious email from Eric Schlosser, who wrote the forward to my book Organic Manifesto. For security reasons, I couldn't tell anyone...
A famous Greek myth highlights the consequences of excessive greed. King Midas (?????) so worshipped gold that when granted a wish by the god, Dionysus...
For National Stress Awareness Month, I wrote two articles here about how we pick up stress from others and pass it on--what I called "stresscalation."...
I've written before about why the resolution to Join or start a group -- any kind of group -- can bring you happiness. I've...
Overall our modern diet rich in processed foods, dairy, processed meats and fast food is disruptive to normal development and aging. Early puberty is an early sign of premature aging.
Mother's Day for me is no longer about flowers, a card and a phone call, because my mom is gone. This day has become about remembering, so I've shared her story here. You may see your own mom's story in it, too.
Moms deserve to be commemorated each and every day because the job, although joyous, is also 24/7 and one of the most challenging -- and important -- jobs a person can embrace.