Blog Profile / 1000 Awesome Things

Filed Under:Lifestyle / Happiness
Posts on Regator:896
Posts / Week:3
Archived Since:February 25, 2010

Blog Post Archive

#528 When your pet notices you’re in a bad mood and comes to see you

Everybody hurts, sometimes. Relationships fritz and fizzle, bad moods steam and sizzle, and we all have moments where all we wanna do is to curl up under a blanket so it all goes away. In tear-stained moments of blackness, when … Continue reading ?

#529 Finally peeing after holding it forever

It didn’t used to be this way. For hundreds of thousands of years our species peed freely, whenever, wherever. Yes, whether we were roaming jungles, crossing ice bridges, or having picnics in plains, it wasn’t always pretty but when nature … Continue reading ?

#530 Listening to couples tell you how they met

Just look at them. Cute, cuddly, giggly, smiling, holding hands wedged deeply in the restaurant booth. Picking nachos, sipping cola, you casually ask how they met and then listen with warm wide-eyed smiles as they stutter and stumble over all … Continue reading ?

#531 The Big Night Nap

The Big Night Nap is any nap you take before going out for a big night. When you nail this warm up nap perfectly you end up with a long memorable evening without dog yawns, wristwatch glances, and early cave-ins. … Continue reading ...

#532 When you find out your new place has a really good shower

It’s all about water pressure. Honestly, getting a misty low pressure shower is a slightly damp nightmare.  You may as well spray yourself with a water bottle or shampoo your hair in the YMCA steam room at that point. No, … Continue reading ?

#533 Taking a spin on a shopping cart

Hey, baby. Take a ride on the wild side. Yes, while walking down that empty grocery store aisle look left at the Cocoa Puffs, look right at the rice cakes, nod confidently, and then step on the cart and fly. … Continue reading ?

#534 Catching food in your mouth

Toss it mean and catch it clean. Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business: • Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the … Continue readin...

#535 Giant morning stretches accompanied by stupid noises

Crack that back. Everybody’s got their own gorilla jungle noises when they wake up in the morning. There’s a few famous moves for waking up your bones: 1. The Insane Wiggle. This one’s the classic. There’s no focus and direction … Continue reading ?

#536 Wearing your favorite pair of underwear and nobody knows

You know the ones. Maybe they fit perfectly, don’t ride up, and leave nothing bulging over the edges. Yes, they flatter in all the right places and all the right spaces, baby. Or maybe you’re a straight-laced Sally and they’re … Continue reading ?

#537 Laughing so hard you start crying

It’s a beautiful moment. Your friend suddenly squeezes her eyes shut and starts shaking her head while laughing so hard little streams of salty tears start running down her cheeks. She covers her mouth with her hands as her wide-eyed … Continue reading ?

#538 When you’re being chased by zombies and suddenly find a hidden stash of guns and ammo

It’s a quiet night. You’re driving your girlfriend home from the movies in your dusty, beat-up pickup truck. The moonlight casts strange shadows in the town square as you slow to a stop under a flickering streetlight. Something catches your … Continue reading ?

#539 When you open a book to the exact page you were looking for

You cracked the case. Seriously, when you pop open that textbook, flip open the yellow pages, or split the spine of that beach novel right to the spot you’re looking for it’s a beautiful moment. Suddenly you transform into a … Continue reading ?

#541 Junk drawers

“Honey, have you seen my measuring tape?” “I think it’s in that drawer in the kitchen with the scissors, bobby pins, scotch tape, nail clippers, barbecue tongs, extra buttons, old birthday cards, stained take-out menus, thick rubber bands, matches, garlic … Continue reading ?

#542 Wrong colored foods

Believe it. There’s something great about eating foods that aren’t the color they’re supposed to be. When you chomp on those deliciously mutant creations, it’s a feast for all your senses. Since the days of cavemen eating albino monkeys, we’ve … Continue reading ?

#543 That separate compartment in your stomach for dessert

My parents drove downtown last week. They cruised along wet highways onto narrow streets to catch up with me over dinner. We walked a block from my apartment to a small restaurant where we squeezed into a booth and squinted … Continue reading ?

#544 Elementary school science fairs

It all starts with poster board. Getting mom to drive to the drug store to load up on the thick flimsy is a great start to a great project. Grab a sheet of white, a sheet of neon pink, and … Continue reading ?

#545 Watching a movie in the basement with a group of friends

It’s better in the basement. Give us the stained couches demoted from the family room. Give us those plastic walls full of pink insulation. Give us those cold floors and thin carpets. Give us that dark cave hidden from the … Continue reading ?

#547 Finding treasures in your spring jacket pocket

Dig deep, baby. When the weather warms up and the snow melts down, it’s time to pull out that thin dusty jacket from the back of the closet and toss it back on. Now, just make sure you stuff your … Continue reading ?

#548 The moment in the shower when you decide to make it a really long shower

It’s a bad scene. Alarm bells buzz when the clock clicks six and I become a barely blinking lump of groggy stretching noises that sound like Chewbacca after he’s been shot. Honestly, it’s a pathetic scene — me lying there … Continue reading ?

#549 School field trip day

It all starts with the permission slip. Yes, when teachers send them home before the bell rings so parents can rubber stamp the bumpy yellow bus trip to the museum, then it’s on, my friends, it’s on. Soon the days … Continue reading...

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