Blog Profile / The Hairpin

Filed Under:Humor / odd
Posts on Regator:11494
Posts / Week:44
Archived Since:February 4, 2011

Blog Post Archive

How Do You Walk In Heels Like A Lady?

yesterdayHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Also, how does one figure out what color tights/nylons/stockings/what have you to wear with what?

How To Clean A Weed Pipe

yesterdayHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Also jacuzzi jets and shoe polish stains, but let's be honest, you're here about the weed pipe.

My “Intro To Feminism” Diary

yesterdayHumor / odd : The Hairpin

I spent a ridiculous amount of time analyzing “rape culture” in “pop” culture, to the point where I pretty convincingly argued that a McDonald’s Milkshake commercial was objectifying the importance of mother’s milk.

Why Won’t My Guy Complain About Me?

2 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

My fiancé (dating three years, engaged eight months, living together two years) never complains about me to me. Not ever. He’s never once asked me to change my behavior in any way. I’ve mentioned this to him before, and he doesn’t really have an explanation. I’ve mentioned that it worries me, and he says it shouldn’t. What to do?

Safe Sexting: Some Tips for Doing It Right

2 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Sexy pictures don’t have to be so literal! Why not send an erotic representation of your nudity, like two pepperonis or a particularly vaginal flower?

The Best Time I Went Home With Someone I Didn’t Realize Was So Young

2 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

The next morning, I rolled over and realized that something was a bit off. I snuck out of bed, grabbed my phone, and texted my trouble-making friend from the previous evening: There is a child in my apartment. In the harsh light of day, it was quite apparent that my bed-fellow was nowhere near my own age.

How do I explain feminism to my boyfriend without alienating him?

3 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Also, how do I make a breakup work and how bad should I feel about being the cheat-ee?

How Can I Tell If I’m Boring?

4 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

ALSO, and equally tragic: "The other day I was having sex with my boyfriend when he texted someone. While he was still inside me. Idk who it was I just heard the clickclickclick on his iPhone. What exactly does this mean?"

Mondo Labia

4 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Fact: Sexual intercourse does not make your labia longer. They are either naturally large or naturally small or somewhere in between, just like testicles.

Keep Them Googling

4 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Do your Google searches make you sad?

Couture Hacks

5 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Yes, the word just means “sewing” or “dressmaking” in French, but it’s come to be understood as shorthand for haute couture over the years. And something is not technically haute couture unless the person who designed it is a memberShow More Summary

Swingles Live Together and Love It

5 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

"I want everything to be very tactile. You know, lots of big, plushy velvet pillows, fur rugs, mirrors in the bedroom. Maybe a waterbed. I've never tried oe but they're supposed to be super for making love..."

The First Time I Heard the Term “Helicopter Parents”

5 days agoHumor / odd : The Hairpin

I’d resigned myself to a summer of backyard burning-but-not-tanning when one of my teachers emailed me to saying he’d heard about a lawyer who was looking to hire a student. Nothin’ fancy, just clerical work. I love few things in life more than alphabetization, so I contacted the lawyer and set up an interview.

Signs of Possible Snobbery: A Partially Fictionalized Facebook Exchange

last weekHumor / odd : The Hairpin

I have always thought the world of you. It bums me out you don’t answer my Facebook messages. Did I do something wrong? Do you dislike me or just don’t have time to answer. It would be so cool to hear from you but I don’t want to be foolish and waste your time by trying to contact you.

Excerpts From Recent Emails

last weekHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Night in with the girls? Try [Redacted’s] wheat germ coated chocolate truffles for a less-guilty indulgence or [Redacted] Calcium for a chocolate treat.

Google Searches During a Three-Day Juice Fast

last weekHumor / odd : The Hairpin

I wouldn’t qualify as a foodie, since I’m not entirely sure what that means, but I missed eating enough to cycle through all five stages of grief in only three days of fasting. My Google search “paper trail” shows exactly how this process panned out for me.

German Words for Gchat-related Psychoemotional States

last weekHumor / odd : The Hairpin

Verkendokumentaugenstich: The momentary pinch of inadequacy and remorse felt when you glance away from a chat and spot the work you are supposed to be doing

Recent Google Searches

last weekHumor / odd : The Hairpin

how to suggest friends with benefits relationship over email

If You Were a Hyperlink

last weekHumor / odd : The Hairpin

If you were a hyperlink I’d click you so hard.

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