Blog Profile / Agents Diary
| URL : | http://agentsdiary.blogspot.com/ | |
|---|---|---|
| Filed Under: | Business & Finance / Real Estate | |
| Posts on Regator: | 149 | |
| Posts / Week: | 1.4 | |
| Archived Since: | June 28, 2011 | |
Blog Post Archive
Back In The Doghouse - Wednesday
No sooner have I rung the doorbell than the frantic barking and scrabbling of paws on parquet begins. Behind the glass panel I see a huge hound bouncing up and down with excitement at the thought of biting – or at least slobbering – over a man in a suit. Show More Summary
Black Pudding - Friday
‘If I see another fing PowerPoint presentation I’ll top myself.’ Hisses my vertically challenged rival manager H as we settle into another bland hotel meeting room and the bean counter boss unfolds his laptop. He has a point. The graphic...Show More Summary
Speaker's Chair - Tuesday
With a cancelled appointment and hair just beginning to bother the ears, I bowl into the barbers without checking the clientele through the window. Too late, I see there’s a bench full of customers waiting and worse still, one of them is a rival estate agent. Show More Summary
Let's Do The Timewarp - Wedneday
Stuck in traffic again. If I’m not gridlocked I’m dodging aggressive traffic wardens, determined to not rest until every town is a wasteland of boarded up units interspersed by charity shops and coffee outlets. I have idiot trainee F...Show More Summary
Open All Hours - Thursday
I’m alone in the office with just imbecilic trainee F for company, as we cover the lunch shift. It’s not a lunch hour; such as you might get working in public service, or a heavily unionised environment. Here you grab some sustenance on the run, in between appointments. Show More Summary
Parklife - Wednesday
‘Do we sell park homes?’ Asks trainee F, phone cupped ineffectively instead of on hold, as I always keep telling the numbskull. If it’s a home set in a park, I think, yes we’d be delighted - if it’s an overpriced shed, not so much. But with new instructions to sell always a battle, I waver, despite the evidence of history. Show More Summary
Big Bang Theory - Thursday
‘Here comes Sheller.’ Announces trainee F with unusual confidence. There’s a long silence, as we look at him, each other, then follow his gaze out into the high street. Assistant manager T sighs then enlightens the imbecile. ‘It’s Bomber, his name is Bomber.’ ‘The end result is the same though.’ Says negotiator S with a shake of her head. Show More Summary
Love Lies Bleeding - Friday
‘These sales figure are just not acceptable.’ Grumbles the bean counter boss, as he clicks his laptop tracker pad angrily. The stark figures flash up on the collapsible screen and there is nowhere to hide. Under the cheap laminate hotel table isn’t an option and there is no under-stairs cupboard immediately to hand. Show More Summary
Sound Of Breaking Glass - Sunday
Not sure how long this eco-friendly surge will last as I rather despise the worthy, beardy, touchy-feely, all animals should be cherished and not eaten brigade. But I’m off to recycle again. I’m going before the sun has barely risen,...Show More Summary
Feeding The Machine - Monday
‘Who the fk invented breakfast meetings?’ Moans H my short of stature, big of ego, rival manager. He’s gravitated towards me at the large rectangular table in this soulless budget hotel we’re in again. It can’t be because he feels superior next to me, at least not until the sales figures are flashed up on the screen. Show More Summary
Learning Curve - Tuesday
‘Our viewing figures are down.’ I tell the morning meeting with all the relish of a soggy burger left too long on the warmer, waiting for someone who actually wants pickle. ‘There’s no point in taking out punters who are just time-wasters.’ Counters assistant manager T, sipping his tea gingerly. Show More Summary
Once Bitten Twice Shy - Thursday
I’m on my way back to the Polish dentist again, teeth deteriorating in tandem with my career. I know I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb in the waiting room once more as the only man in a suit. Last time it felt like the Job Centre...Show More Summary
Turn Round At Earliest Opportunity - Friday
‘Not a great day out there.’ Pronounces assistant manger T somewhat superfluously. The rain is cascading down the window in a passable imitation of Victoria Falls and the wind is blowing umbrellas inside out providing a modicum of entertainment in the absence of any internet sites to look at, that haven’t been blocked by head office. Show More Summary
Not Needed On Journey - Holiday Monday
The car is groaning on the springs again. I keep asking for the company to change it but it seems to have developed a mechanical empathy with me – I haven’t given it a pet name or anything, I’m not that weird, but I might miss its quirky character when they finally chop it in for something smaller, cheaper and sign-written with a company logo. Show More Summary
Muck And Brass - Saturday
‘Do we have to do this?’ I whine ungraciously to my wife. ‘Sometimes you have to get down and dirty.’ She replies pulling on the rubber gloves. ‘But I’d rather watch the football.’ I tell her, wondering if my back will be up to this....Show More Summary
Display At All Times - Tuesday
‘I’ve just realised something.’ Announces borderline retard trainee F, gazing out of the window at a scene bleak enough for a Dickens novel. Fingers lift from keyboards, a call is curtailed and the photocopier conveniently comes to the end of a run. Show More Summary
Please Hold Caller - Monday
‘No calls for a while please.’ I tell the office as I begin the retreat to my own space. I don’t often close the door – not least because it’s lonely in there - but some calls need to be away from the general public. ‘Got to speak to the bean counter’ Asks assistant manger T with a wry smile. Show More Summary
Not Many Lives Left - Tuesday
‘And here she comes.’ Announces assistant manage T with the sort of weary resignation I’ve been dreaming about for years now. Negotiator S bobs her head up from behind the flatscreen and smiles in recognition when she sees the approaching woman. Show More Summary
Hanging On The Telephone - Wednesday
The phones are jangling insistently as I enter the office after another fruitless appointment. Negotiator S is looking harassed, locked into what sounds like a difficult call. B the letting lush is over by the printer ignoring the residential line again. Show More Summary
Eat To The Beat - Thursday
I spot him heading my way through a throng of lunchtime escapees. The sort of office workers who are either in the private sector, like me, and are taking five minutes to grab a sandwich to eat at their desk in between calls, or areShow More Summary