Blog Profile / Copyranter

Filed Under:Marketing / Advertising
Posts on Regator:1508
Posts / Week:5.7
Archived Since:July 1, 2011

Blog Post Archive

How To Get Your First Copywriting Job...If You're A Female.

Get a sex change, and other more reasonable tips from someone with inside info (me). LINK, copyranter on Digiday.

What If Adblockers Advertised?

See all five ads I created here— copyranter on Digiday.

Real-Life Ads are the Best Ads.

Last week, the world's largest drug trafficker accidentally became the worldwide spokesmodel for Barabas' hideous men's shirts. Read about this, plus four other excellent real-life ads from the last few months. Copyranter on Digiday—LINK.

The Definitive Guide To Making A "Viral" Video.

Yes. It's finally here. An expert's (me) easy-to-follow six-step guide to making your very own "viral" brand video. Simply click here and reap. You're welcome.

Biggest Digital Dipshits of 2015.

Was it Jet Blue's Twitter feed manager (probably ex-manager), who obviously doesn't possess basic knowledge about the history of flight? Click here to pick your favorite 2015 digital dipshit—copyranter on Digiday.

The 5 Best Ads You Didn't See This Year.

Curated by me, the best ad critic in all dimensions across all universes. LINK.

The 6 Most "Punchable" Ads of 2015.

Fuck all those other bullshit year-end advertising lists. This is the only one that matters. These ads aren't just bad; these ads are asking to be punched in the fucking face. LINK—on Digiday.

What In The HELL Is Going On With Toilet Paper Advertising?

Since Mr. Whipple died in 2001, Toilet Paper Ads have gotten very strange and very bad. See for yourself— my post this week on Digiday—LINK.

Advertising Is Not A Science, Never Will Be.

Every Ad Tech "Guru" needs to read this memo by Bill Bernbach. It's from 1947. ( LINK ).

"Brainstorming" is useless

Come inside a digital agency's "ideation" room, and watch a good idea get destroyed. LINK on Digiday.

"Shit Copywriters Think"

The copywriter is still the idea of king of this stupid industry. Fuck everybody else. LINK, on Digiday.

On Shitty Copywriting.

Supposedly good agencies continue to produce really shitty ads. More here, on Digiday—LINK.

The Rise of the "Un-Ad".

It's not hard sell. It's not soft sell. It's un-sell.Read about it on Digiday— LINK.

Seven New Names for "Advertising"

Sir Martin Sorrell, the richest and mouthiest adman in the world, says we need to rename "advertising". So I did, seven times (including "Sorrelling"). See them here, on Digiday.

The Unparalleled Arrogance of the iPhone Taglines Continues...

For eight years, Apple has launched generation after generation of the iPhone with most arrogant yet meaningless slogans imaginable. I went ahead and wrote them some for next year's iPhone 7. LINK—on Digiday.

Top 9 Reasons You Should Quit Your Marketing Job.

Your words mean nothing.You create nothing.You are nothing. LINK on Digiday.

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