Blog Profile / Copyranter

Filed Under:Marketing / Advertising
Posts on Regator:1533
Posts / Week:5.2
Archived Since:July 1, 2011

Blog Post Archive

Seven New Names for "Advertising"

Sir Martin Sorrell, the richest and mouthiest adman in the world, says we need to rename "advertising". So I did, seven times (including "Sorrelling"). See them here, on Digiday.

The Unparalleled Arrogance of the iPhone Taglines Continues...

For eight years, Apple has launched generation after generation of the iPhone with most arrogant yet meaningless slogans imaginable. I went ahead and wrote them some for next year's iPhone 7. LINK—on Digiday.

Top 9 Reasons You Should Quit Your Marketing Job.

Your words mean nothing.You create nothing.You are nothing. LINK on Digiday.

How to Advertise to Millennials.

Four spec ad examples of Millennial-targeted advertising from an expert. LINK—on Digiday.

It's time to kill Cannes. It has become an embarrassment.

(photo by Kurt Novack, 2014) Scores of scam ads + petty egotistical judges = kill the awards portion of the festival. NOW. LINK, on Digiday.

Ad Creativity vs. Ad Tech: It's an All-Out War.

Ad Tech is Donkey Kong. Ad Creativity is Mario.Who ya got? Story on Digiday.

New dog food ad ends racism in America.

Also, a new shampoo ad ends divorce in China.New trend of brands exploiting society's ills to sell product is despicable. LINK on Digiday.

Angry Aging Area Ad Man (me) Baffled By Bullshit Buzzwords.

Dickweeds are trying to make Advertising more complicated than it is.Curated Brand Experience? Ephemeral Content? Big Data? All bullshit. LINK on Digiday.

UPDATE: Sex No Longers Sells.

18-34 year-olds ain't buying what their selling. Story Link.

WTF is a Creative Director?

It’s a question I’ve been asked many times over the years by civilians: Just what is it that a creative director does? Sorry, but there is no quick, pat answer, especially nowadays, young millennial. Instead, I will circle the question, like a vulture, hopefully while avoiding shitting on my own legs, unlike a vulture. Read the rest on Digiday.

Dove's "Real" Beauty Campaign is 100% Bullshit.

And finally, prominent women in media all calling them out. LINK.

How To Get Ahead As A Young Ad Creative.

copyranter—not afraid to be servicey.It's not pretty out there now for you Millennial CWs and ADs.But you can find work, if you follow my proprietary advice. LINK.

Evil, creepy Drone Advertising is here. And you can't stop it.

In Brazil. In Italy. In Japan. In Russia.Drone-vertising is scaring the shit out of people.And soon, it will be everywhere, all the time. Read more on Digiday.

Brands: Stop Hiring Journalists to Write Native Ads.

(If you were Hunter Thompson, then yes, I would let you write a native ad for my brand. But you're not. He's dead.)Now, well-educated, delusional, underpaid journalists think that they can do advertising better than ad copywriters. This is poppycock. Read why here.

Why did it take Facebook 11 f#©king years to advertise "friendship"?

We all remember the Most Depressing Tech Commercial in History, the 2012 Facebook "Chairs" ad that opened with a scene that looked it was from an episode of True Detective. Zuckerberg followed up that video with even more Dystopian ads.Well now, finally, Facebook has done something that makes sense. Read why, and see the new ads here.

The "Big Idea" ain't dead yet. Here's proof.

"No Bollocks" is a great Big Idea. If I were a CMO? I’d run my brand downtown to the Wall Street office of Droga5 and scream, Fry-like, “Shut up and take my money,” give Dave Droga a blank check, and then go to the lobby and sleep on...Show More Summary

Digital is Destroying All Creativity.

Note: this is an ironic visual. In News. In Fashion. And especially, in Advertising. LINK, on Digiday.

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