Blog Profile / Copyranter

Filed Under:Marketing / Advertising
Posts on Regator:1467
Posts / Week:7
Archived Since:July 1, 2011

Blog Post Archive

It's Time To End The Cannes Advertising Festival.

The just completed 2014 Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity made $28.2 million in entry fees alone, up over four million from 2013. British media company Top Right Group runs the Festival, after buying it from French businessman Roger Hatchuel in 2004 for £52 million. Show More Summary

The Great American Tagline Is Dead.

(One of my favorite taglines of all time) Nike ditched Just Do It last year. Apparently, they thought it too harsh for today’s soft generation, replacing it, temporarily, with the gooier Find Your Greatness. If sitting on your couchShow More Summary

Prankvertising Is The Worst Thing To Happen To Advertising Since The Starburst.

Pageviews. Today’s world has deemed them so vital, that it’s turned them into one word. Say the word in a marketing meeting, and ears prick up, eyes sparkle, and sometimes drool comes out of mouths. That’s because a video ad’s pageviews instantly turn advertising into science, which it absolutely most certainly is not. Show More Summary

BuzzFeed's Native Advertising Is Nothing But A Confidence Game.

BuzzFeed is worth a lot of money, maybe $1 billion. At least, that’s what they told Disney when the Mouse came sniffing at their hot ass earlier this year. BuzzFeed is not worth lots of money because of its lists or quizzes. It is worth...Show More Summary

Worst Ad of the Day—on Twitter.

I've started a " Worst Ad of the Day " daily update on Twitter.This Indian ad for Kurl-on mattresses featuring Malala Yousafzai—the Pakistani girl shot in the face by the Taliban—was a recent winner. It's by O&M India and, amazingly, is a real ad. Splendid.I update daily. Go here.

Social Media Dipshits: Stop Treating Us Like Fuckwits.

When are brand managers going to come to realize that metrics don't mean diddly-squat, and that their social media managers need to stop stealing "content" ideas from old Highlights magazines? Story Link, on VICE.

The Best Ads of 2014 You Haven't Seen, Part 1.

11 commercials, plus the above brilliant print campaign for a Swiss vegetarian restaurant. Story on VICE.

Two new fast food burgers are not to be eaten by women, according to their ads.

One commercial, via Carl's Jr., features a fake Mystique morphing into a beefy man before she bites a big-ass bacon burger. The other, by KFC Australia, fake-apologizes to "girls" for freaking them out. copyranter on Jezebel, LINK.

For the New York Observer—my weekly local NYC Bad Ad Report.

This week: Snickers isn't half as clever as they think they are; the newest sexy Times Square bed bugs ad; and there's a new ad buster in town—the Clownifier. LINK.

Think You Can Write Better Ads Than Convicted Felons?

Two young San Francisco copywriters used the Federal prison system's pen pal program to concept together with inmates on some ads. Some of them are not bad. Take a look—on VICE.

Ad agencies STILL have no idea how to talk to women.

I rounded up six recent ads—4 spots and 2 print executions—directed at or featuring women. It's a tough call which one is the most woman-hating. Story on Vice.

This Week's Local NYC Bad Ads Report.

I'm starting a new weekly column for the New York Observer. In it, I will be photographing and reviewing local bad ads, from above and below ground. Link.

American Car Ads are a Fucking Embarrassment.

If you watched the Oscars last night, you probably saw the above "American Exceptionalism" Cadillac commercial. It is, politics aside, one of the worst car commercials ever produced. But it's just the latest in a shitty string of awful American car ads. Read on VICE.

The Greatest American Copywriter Wasn't A "Mad Man".

He is a Midwestern son of a preacher who as an adman vomited before presentations, not from liquor like that hack Don Draper, but from fear—fear that a new client wouldn't have the balls to buy his ballsy ads. Read more about him, and see many of his best ads in my weekly post on VICE.

Social Media Managers are Dipshits, continued...

This new "digital creative class" is an embarrassment to the advertising industry. None of these dipshits could have cut it at even the lowest level of a good creative ad agency just 10 years ago. I've compiled and commented on the worst...Show More Summary

FTD Florists presents the four Whitest couples in the history of advertising.

After watching these four Valentine's Day commercials via the 100 year-old flower delivery company, you will seriously consider celibacy. They are THAT BAD. copyranter on VICE.

This new Canadian Gay Rights spot is better than all the Super Bowl Ads. Combined.

See, you clueless fucking American ad agencies? ONE simple insight. A creative linchpin that's fresh and shiny and pristine, unsullied by puppies and horses and bears and celebrities and fucking Danica Patrick. Bravo, Rethink, Canada (the responsible ad agency).

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