Blog Profile / Copyranter

Filed Under:Marketing / Advertising
Posts on Regator:1512
Posts / Week:5.6
Archived Since:July 1, 2011

Blog Post Archive

Social Media Managers are Dipshits, continued...

This new "digital creative class" is an embarrassment to the advertising industry. None of these dipshits could have cut it at even the lowest level of a good creative ad agency just 10 years ago. I've compiled and commented on the worst...Show More Summary

FTD Florists presents the four Whitest couples in the history of advertising.

After watching these four Valentine's Day commercials via the 100 year-old flower delivery company, you will seriously consider celibacy. They are THAT BAD. copyranter on VICE.

This new Canadian Gay Rights spot is better than all the Super Bowl Ads. Combined.

See, you clueless fucking American ad agencies? ONE simple insight. A creative linchpin that's fresh and shiny and pristine, unsullied by puppies and horses and bears and celebrities and fucking Danica Patrick. Bravo, Rethink, Canada (the responsible ad agency).

I call BULLSHIT on Doritos' "Crash The Super Bowl" contest results.

The above "Finger Cleaner" spot has over 600,000 more views on YouTube than the two winners that aired during the game, combined. Read more on VICE.

What The Hell Happened To Apple's Advertising?

Last week was the 30th anniversary of "1984", the commercial that launched Mac. They followed that up with "Think Different," another advertising masterstroke. Then, the "I'm a Mac/I'm a PC" campaign, another success. And that was last Big Idea Apple's had. Read more on VICE.

The safe-driving PSAs of New Zealand are the best in the world.

The above ad, "Mistake", is only the most recent brilliant PSA via the New Zealand Transport Agency and their ad agency, Clemenger/BBDO. See four more great commercials from the last few years on VICE. ( Story Link ).

The five worst ads of 2014 (so far).

This assburger magazine ad was banned in Australia for being "degrading" to women. Read the ridiculous quote from the creative director defending it, plus check out three awful commercials and one idiotic tweet in this week's VICE post ( LINK ).

Classic Mad Men era ads ruined by lawyers.

I again imagined what effect powerful dickhead lawyers would have had on the advertising creative revolution of the 1960s — including the above "tweak" to one of Ed McCabe's great Volvo ads. Read the post.

Jimmy Kimmel is a Shitty Copywriter.

Kimmel and his Jackhole Productions staff recently horked up an in-show ad for Tostitos, dubbed the "Worst Contest Ever". It's far worse than that. Read about it on VICE.

12 best commercials I found by accident in 2013.

On VICE:The 12 best commercials I found by accident in 2013.

Apple's Christmas Commercial is Transparent Pandering Bullshit

The disaffected Youngs with their faces buried in their fucking screens, win, and you lose, Olds!GOTCHA, GEEZERS!What a fucking Santa pants-load of shit, this ad is. How many teenage asswipes across the world will, yes, actually have...Show More Summary

One of the most incomprehensible ads ever created.

It's via Scott Hoy, Sioux Falls personal injury lawyer.See a re-imagining of Hoy's holiday ad — which features his floating, talking disembodied head — and many other atrocious December ads, branding, and social media updates in my weekly column on VICE ( LINK ).

If Lawyers Wrote Ads

On VICE : what if lawyers had written some of the greatest ads and taglines from the Mad Men era? They would have been...a lot less great. LINK.

The two stupidest Nelson Mandela ads ever produced.

(click ads to enlarge)He was a great man, unquestionably.And these two ads are not great, unquestionably.Top — an ad for Inchalam nails, by Ogilvy & Mather, Chile. STAY STRONG. No further comment necessary.Bottom — an ad (headline: Life is easier, if you don’t speak up. Show More Summary

The best Christmas ads for people who hate Christmas ads.

If, like me, you can't stand the seasonal schmaltz, the mushiness, the faux feel good hooey, go to VICE and watch four commercials that actually treat consumers like sentient human beings — including the CANAL+ Nativity ad, above. L...

The "O" stands for Japanese Zeros.

Tora, Tora, Tora, SpaghettiOs and Campbell Soup Company (parent).Image via. Previously in: Twidiot of the Week.

This is pretty much the most racist commercial I've ever seen.

It's for an Alabama law firm.That, and more on my weekly ad post on VICE.

This is the Doritos "Crash The Super Bowl" winner.

For the eighth straight year, Doritos will be "crashing" the Super Bowl with non ad agency ads. You can see all the submissions here. I've viewed many of them, and most of them suck balls, as usual — not that that's any different from when a Doritos ad agency creates the ads.But this one, "Finger Cleaner", is a winner. Show More Summary

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