Blog Profile / Wonkette

Filed Under:US Politics / Liberal
Posts on Regator:2042
Posts / Week:5.3
Archived Since:March 3, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Which Parts Of Kraft Singles Are We Supposed To Eat? A Wonksplainer

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Hey you. Yes, you, dummy, standing there in the dairy section of your local Kwik Food Stuffs-R-Us-N-Go, about to put a package of Kraft Singles into your shopping cart. Don’t do that. Seriously, why would you do that? Because you like...Show More Summary

Mean ACLU Sues Teacher For Trying To Shame Atheist Child Into Heaven

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Get out your Teacher Of The Year ballots, we have a nominee to present! Meet Michelle Meyer, who teaches at a public school, Forest Park Elementary in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Her ass is getting sued by the ACLU, and here is why. One day,...Show More Summary

Ted Cruz Would Like You To Think About His Penis Wrapped In Bacon

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

“In Texas,” says Canadian-born Cuban Ted Cruz, “we cook bacon a little differently than most folks.” How’s that, you’re not even wondering, but he’s gonna show you anyway. See, while other Americans might cook bacon the lazy way — on...Show More Summary

Mike Huckabee Will Send Very Tiny Army Men Right Into Your Cooch

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Mike Huckabee, apparently still feeling the effects of that deep hit he took from the Trump Pipe last week, is saying some more insane shit. Not only is the Iran nuclear deal the Holocaust, now he’s hinting that, as president (HAH!) he’d maybe consider using the FBI and U.S. Show More Summary

Mormon Dad Forgot To Teach Son To Hate Gays, Will Never Get His Own Planet Now

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Hey Wonk liberals, let’s listen to the NPR together while we drink our vegan kale lattes, shall we? Ooh, here is an NPR radio program about the Boy Scouts organization ending its ban on openly gay scout leaders. Is there a Mormon dad...Show More Summary

Watch Erick Erickson Shove This Coat Hanger Up GOP’s Vagina!

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

. Perpetual rage machine and Fox News contributor Erick Erickson is really, really mad that Planned Parenthood is getting rich off trafficking in murdered baby parts (which it isn’t, but shut up, he knows it is). Not only is he demanding...Show More Summary

Who Is Chris Christie Punching In The Face Today?

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is a raging dick — but that’s not a bug, it’s a feature. It’s his brand, and he’s damn proud of it, and he’s never going to change, eff you, buddy. His pitch to voters is: “It’s time to start offendingShow More Summary

Rick Scott Is Just Like Mother Teresa: Your Florida Roundup

We were worried for a moment there that after last week’s absolute and undeniable perfection, Yr Florida Roundup would have nowhere to go but down. And this turned out to be true, sorry. But we do have this wonderful picture of our dear...Show More Summary

Sass-Mouth Barack Obama Sasses The Republicans, Sassily. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and whew, what a week we had! Your Wonkette got lost (broken because bad server was bad), but then was found (fixed with a shiny new server!), was blind but now it sees! And you all made that possible! If you...Show More Summary

Deleted Comments: A Real Marine In National Security Warns Wonkette To Leave Iran

Funny how it all works out: Even during a week when our little mommyblog, recipe hub, and ugly vile little snark mob was brought low by server issues for a day and then some, we had an astonishing number of deleted comments, mostly thanks...Show More Summary

None To Beam Up Just Yet: Your Saturday Nerdout

Happy Saturday, nerdlings! We have all sorts of geeky goodies for you today, so warm up your Oscillation Overthrusters, make sure you have enough gigawatts for your flux capacitors, and have another cup of coffee. Also, you may as well give up on any hope that you’ll get a decent cup of tea from Zaphod Beeblebrox. Show More Summary

The Snake Oil Bulletin: This Week Full Of Actual Snakes!

Greetings and salutations, readers! It’s time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly dose of magical cure-all tonic to detox all the normal shit right out of your system. We have a bulletin bursting with bullshit this week,...Show More Summary

The Long And Fartknocking Road: A Sarah Palin Channel Retrospectacular

This is the final installment of The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, presented by Fartknocker, a series made possible by a generous grant from Fartknocker. Relive all your favorite Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report moments at the Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report Archives. Show More Summary

Liberal Trolls Helpfully Improve Southern Pride Facebook Page, With Old Gay Dicks

There is a terrible and wonderful thing about Facebook: Its security settings are supposed to give you lots of control over your account, but you have to be careful, especially if you’re running a group, about who you give administrator access to. Show More Summary

Here Are 9 More Things For Steve King To Gay-Marry After He Divorces His Lawnmower

Rep. Steve King is a glorious fucking numbskull, and he’s willing to prove it on the daily, if that’s what it takes. Having failed to stop the Supreme Court from throat-cramming America with marriage of the EW GAY kind, he must continue...Show More Summary

Donald Trump Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Terrific Fence

Donald Trump has the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST plan ever to replace Obamacare, and it’s going to be so incredible, it will probably blow his already-perfect plans for defeating ISIS out of the water, that’s how good it is. On CNN this week,...Show More Summary

Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies

Oh look, here is former George W. Bush spokesditz and current Fox Blonde Dana Perino, doing a dumb on the teevee again. Yes, again. What crawled up her butt and died this time? Did her husband get arrested some more? No, it’s The Media...Show More Summary

Mike Huckabee Worried All The Military Ladies Will Want Fancy New Sex Boobies Now

Mike Huckabee took some time out from smuggling the Jews off Barack Obama’s Iranian Auschwitz train this week to make some more weird comments about boobies. He’s worried that if transgenders get to be in the military and go into battle...Show More Summary

Ted Cruz Tells Obama And Clinton To Stop Rubbing Their Lithe Bodies All Over Islamic Tyrants

Ted Cruz has apparently had enough of all the Hitler rhetoric over the Iran nukes deal, and is now suggesting that Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John Kerry want to have a hot swinger foursome with Iran and maybe even a big ol’ sex-pile...Show More Summary

Gay-Hating Oregon Bakers Real Tired Of Getting Concentration Camped By Hitler

Ready for another dumb Hitler analogy, because this is the week where we do those? Let’s get reacquainted with Aaron and Melissa Klein, who decided to be martyrs just like Jesus, by refusing to make a cake for a lesbian wedding. Then...Show More Summary

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