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Blog Profile / Wonkette


URL :http://wonkette.com/
Filed Under:Politics / US Politics
Posts on Regator:1664
Posts / Week:4.9
Archived Since:March 3, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Please Read This Joe Biden Story So We Can Sell You Things

Let’s be honest. There has been a shortage, nay, a dearth, of news lately. Did we use up all the news during the election? Because good lord every media outlet we can find is covering the fact that Joe Biden went to Costco:  Vice President Joe Biden bought a wide variety of things during his Thursday morning shopping spree [...]

Fox ‘Doctor’ Keith Ablow: Screw You Marlo Thomas, William Doesn’t Get A Doll

Here is Dr. Keith Ablow, on Fox & Friends, blowing a Bill O’Reilly-like gasket at the state of the world today, as evidenced by — you may want to escort all children and pregnant women from the room — a mom buying a doll for her son. OH SHIT! GENDER-QUEERS! Now all boys are gonna [...]

‘Responsible Firearm Owner’ Stands Ground Against Music (And 17-Year-Old)

(Update added 11/28/12, 2:05; see end) A Florida man who objected to loud music coming from a parked car let his rage go to eleven, so he shot and killed one of the teens sitting in the car. Did we mention that this happened in Florida? And that the shooter is a white gun nut [...]

Awesome First Transgendered Elected Lady And City Councilman Wife Did Awesome Crimes Back When She Was A Man

UPDATED BELOW! Hey, remember the election? Tons of cool stuff happened that we didn’t write about because we were busy laughing at WND or whatever, and most of that cool stuff was stuff like LEGAL MARIJUANA and GAY PEOPLE AND BUDDHISTS ALL OVER THE PLACE. There was a hot bi lady, there was a cool [...]

‘Progressive’ Fellow In ‘Men’s Rights Movement’ Has Inspirational Posters For Manly Men

Here is something that the Internet went and puked up on our digital doorstep a few days back: a collection of Microsoft Office-based editorial artwork from the Men’s Rights Activists (MRA) movement, designed to provide inspiration and motivation to “The Manosphere.” And what is the “Manosphere?” We’ll let the anti-MRA blog Manboobz do the ‘splainin: [...]

Obama Can’t Stop Revealing How He Stole Election

You Wonkettians, in your lie-brul enclaves. Why, you probably haven’t even spent ONE SINGLE MINUTE seething about Obummer’s “victory” since the election ended. No, you’re still celebrating with hardcore S&M bondage, lattes, sacrifices to the Dark Lord, and driving your Volvos. (Do liberals still drive Volvos? Is that still an insult?) Nevermind. The good men [...]

WND Had A Most Cunning Plan To Stop Obama With Constitution, Except For One Tiny Detail: The Constitution

Judson Phillips, founder of Tea Party Nation and a guy who just loves the Constitution of the United States so much that he wakes up every morning with patriojizz all over his 2nd-amendment footie pajamas, published a brilliant plan the other day that had the potential to actually save America from the tragedy of national [...]

Strippers Score Hot Legal Victory Over Terrible Rhino

Here at Wonkette, we take our goal of bringing you Very Serious Legal News very seriously. Whether it is politicians getting busted for the sexytime, politicians getting busted for the sexytime, or politicians getting busted for the sexytime, we here at Wonkette are ON it. Sometimes sexytime isn’t so sexy, though! Sometimes ladies who deliver [...]

New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me

Did you know that in many states there are judicial elections? And that those judicial elections are a pathway for really exceptional conspiracy-driven wingnuts, rather than your garden-variety wingnut, to ascend to positions of power? And it is almost impossible to get rid of them once they are elected? You do now!! Democracy, California-style, has [...]

A Children’s Treasury of CEOs Throwing Very Grown-Up Tantrums Over Obamacare

If we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, we would happily make ten cents less per unit in order to make sure that our employees have health care coverage. This would be DOUBLY true if we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company in the food industry, given that we would not [...]

Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash

Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they want to LEAVE IT (because Kenyan Mooslim Sharia Oppression and such). But one such patriot is a little more interesting! Sup, guy who started Alabama’s secession petition Derrick Belcher, 45, of “Chuncula”? “Blah blah libertarianism, RON PAUL!!!1!, freedom, not-racist, hard-working, etc.” Oh yes, here it [...]

Great GOP Hope Marco Rubio: Let’s Just Go Ahead and Let Rich People Do Whatever

Marco Rubio, who we have been told is the New Face of the Republican party, has a brilliant take on solving the so-called fiscal cliff: let’s just go ahead and let rich people do whatever they want because they’ll hire a  bunch of lawyers and do what they want no matter what so we might [...]

John McCain Continues To Be A Bitter Old Idiot

You know who is so mad about the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, and how Barack Obama sat around in the SitRoom, eating popcorn and demanding the CIA stand down and let our ambassador, Christopher Stevens, die and get dragged through the streets? John McCain is so mad about it! He is so [...]

Mitt Romney Drops By To Make Sure You Still Loathe Him

Mitt Romney was lonely. A week after the election, and all anybody was laughing at was Karl Rove and Fox News and Dick Morris and Gallup, and people had kind of forgotten Mitt himself, the onetime standard-bearer of the GOP. Had he himself not shit the bed? Was he not the master of his own [...]

Barack Obama Will Punch Graham’s and McCain’s Lights Out Probably, He Is So Mad About Them Slagging Susan Rice

Earlier we brought you the BREAKING NEWS that Senator John McCain is a puckered old asshole, and also why he is full of poo. B. Barry Bamz responded to McCain’s typical slurring of UN Ambassador Susan Rice in his press conference today by going all HULK SMASH and practically challenging McCain and his partner in [...]

A Shady Charity, Millions In Debt, And ‘Diplomatic Inviolability’: Tampa’s Good-Time Kelley Sisters Are Perfect Republicans

It’s completely not fair that we in the media have now turned our considerable interest on the Kelley sistren. All they did was either get some shitty emails from a presumed nutzoid Internet stalker, or be related to someone who got some shitty emails from a presumed nutzoid Internet stalker, and now here we are [...]

A Children’s Treasury of Random Wingnut Post-Election Butthurt (Part Douche)

As we have already pretty much established, America is Over Now, so all that’s left is just sitting around and waiting for the last few remaining embers of Freedom to burn out. If we’re really lucky, the Ancient Mayans or Space Jebus will just smash the Earth and be done with it. So let us [...]

Obama Tried To Call Mitch McConnell And John Boehner On Election Night, But They Lied That They Were Sleeping

Why does that dastardly Nobumer keep refusing to work with Republicans, except for all those times he tried to pass Cap & Trade (a Republican idea) and Obamacare (a Republican idea) and all those other times too? Like, he doesn’t even call them up on ‘Lection Night to be like, yo, let us try to [...]

Come, Drink In Delusional Mitt Romney’s Election-Night Sadness With Us

Oh boy, we have now reached our favorite part of the election cycle: the end! It’s great because (a) the stressful part is over and (b) all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with. And so it was that the lucky folks at [...]

Nice Lady Goes On Epic 23-Minute Potty Rant Because Her Friends Didn’t Share Her Romney Posts On Facebook

The fact that shellymicAB’s Youtube rant is unembeddable is a crime against Wonkette. But for those of you who have been begging us to repeat our billion-post Tuesday schedule so as to keep schadening your Freude (unaware that we conducted Election Day, like the Iraq War, “off-budget”), well, here should be the happiest 25 minutes [...]

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