Blog Profile / Wonkette

Filed Under:US Politics / Liberal
Posts on Regator:1871
Posts / Week:4.9
Archived Since:March 3, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Dear Black Folks, Mike Huckabee Would Like To Be Your White Knight

15 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Boy, do we owe Mike Huckabee an apology. While we have, in the past, subtly suggested that Mike Huckabee is a racist piece of fuck, it seems we were wrong. Huckabee loooooooooooves African-Americans and knows the troubles they’ve seen,...Show More Summary

Idiot Wingnut Chick: America’s Not Racist, Except For Obama

16 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Here America is, all fired up for yet another solemn Conversation On Race, when we don’t even need to be doing that in the first place, since racism is over. The Charleston shooting was an Isolated Incident, because while individualShow More Summary

Donald Trump Fires Macy’s For Letting Mexican Rapists Into America

16 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Trumpendammerung 2015 continues today, as Macy’s becomes the latest of the Great White Shart’s branding associates to say “Adios, puto!” After Trump’s assertion that Mexico is “sending” a whole bunch of rapists and murderers and, heShow More Summary

Fidel Castro Wins Cold War, Hooray!

17 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

In news that probably ought to seem a lot more exciting to Cold War Babbies like Yr Wonkette, President Obama announced today that the U.S. and Cuba have finalized arrangements to reopen embassies in each other’s countries. And while...Show More Summary

Hispanic ¡Jeb! Bush Says Donald Trump Wrong About His People Being Drug-Criming Rapists

18 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Jeb! Bush is mildly displeased with Donald Trump. Or rather, ¡Jeb! Bush està ligeramente disgustado over Donald Trump’s contention that Mexican immigrants are rapists and drug crimers. Nicest drug-criming rapists you’ll ever meet, though!...Show More Summary

GOP Congresstwit So Sad SCOTUS Pissed On Graves Of Christian Civil War Heroes

19 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Wisconsin’s freshman Republican Rep. Glenn Grothman is fast becoming our favorite numb-nutted wingnut in the House. He’s the one who recently suggested the good people of his district spy on suspicious looking grocery store shoppers, just to make sure those fake welfare queens aren’t buying too many crab legs. Show More Summary

Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans

19 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Humungous bag of weasel smegma Donald Trump is suing Univision for $500 million because it canceled its coverage of the Miss Universe pageant after his really smart (and totally accurate, he says) analysis of Mexicans, who are “bringing...Show More Summary

Justice Department: Maybe Police Treating Ferguson Like Fallujah Was A Bad Idea

20 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

A draft Justice Department report on the police response to demonstrations in Ferguson, Missouri, last summer finds — and we hope you’re sitting down here — that the heavily armed police were heavy-handed in their tactics, poorly coordinated, and tended to make tensions between police and protesters worse. Show More Summary

Jesus-American County Clerks Paralyzed By Gay Cooties

21 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Despite the Supreme Court ordering every single American to get gay married right this second, some Real Good Christians are shouting, “Don’t wanna! Don’t hafta! YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!” Which is rude and also wrong, but that rarely stops bigots from doing that thing they do. Show More Summary

Wingnut Terror Alert Level Raised To ‘Hey Gurl!’ After White House Gay Rainbow Display

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

On Friday night, after the historic Supreme Court decision where Justice Anthony Kennedy destroyed all heterosexual marriages by letting gays in on the institution, the White House gave us ALL THE FEELS by turning rainbow-colored for the night. Show More Summary

Oklahoma Supreme Court Murders God

22 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

In your Separation of Church and State Nice Time, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that a Ten Commandments monument at the state Capitol building has to be removed, because it violates the Oklahoma Constitution, never mind the U.S. Show More Summary

Jeb Bush Tax Returns Reveal He’s Fcking Rich

23 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

There’s one thing Jeb Bush learned real good from Mitt Romney, besides how to flip flop around like a dying fish on even the simplest of questions, and that is: don’t try to hide how rich you are. You are rich, and everyone knows it, so don’t be all mysterious and defensive because you’ll be asked about it for the rest of your life. Show More Summary

Confederate Loser Buys Delicious ISIS Cake From Walmart Bakery, Doesn’t Eat It

Gather ’round, little children, for we have a heartwarming story about Walmart, ISIS, cake, and this one Louisiana dumbass named Chuck Netzhammer, who is very sad about how America is stomping all over his beloved traitor Confederate flag. Show More Summary

BREAKING: Majority Of Americans Like Taking Gay Obamacare Up The Butt

In case you missed it because you were trapped under something heavy, the Supreme Court crammed healthcare AND marriage equality up and down all of our orifices last week. While you might be 69 kinds of butthurt about the uber-liberal...Show More Summary

California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands

Hey, how about some Science Nice Time? California Gov. Jerry Brown signed the state’s new vaccine requirement into law today, over the cries of “Government Oppression!” and “Big Pharma! Big Pharma! Big Pharma!” from anti-vaxxers. The...Show More Summary

Open Enrollment For Gay Reparations Beginning Soon, According To Anonymous Moron

We’re guessing this one has only a thin hope of joining ACORN and Jade Helm 15 in the Great Big Catalogue of Rightwing Fears, but let’s document the specimen just in case it manages to thrive. Over at Gateway Pundit, Stupidest GuestShow More Summary

Girl Scouts Will Get Along Just Fine Without Transgender-Hating Bigot Bucks, Thank You

As you are all aware, the Girl Scouts is a super badass organization. Its leadership is SO liberal, the Scouts are turning all of America’s girls into militant man-hating lesbian vegans with bitchin’ abortion skills. And it costs money...Show More Summary

Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage.

Pathetic self-parody Rick Santorum took to The Fox and The Friends Sunday to explain how to fix the Supreme Court, after it broke America last week, and make America all better again, and the way to do that is for presidents to stopShow More Summary

Chris Christie Announces Presidential Campaign By Yelling At America For Its Own Good

Having burned all his bridges in New Jersey – those he didn’t shut down, anyway – Gov. Chris Christie today announced his escape plan: to run for the GOP nomination for president in 2016. There are so many reasons why Christie is likely...Show More Summary

Chin Up, New York Poors, You No Longer Have To Use Separate-But-Equal Doors

Among the many methods we as Americans have to communicate to poorer folks that they’re Less Than, New York’s “poor doors” have to be one of the grossest. If you’re not familiar, developers in the city would get huge tax breaks for including...Show More Summary

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