Blog Profile / Wonkette


URL :http://wonkette.com/
Filed Under:US Politics / Liberal
Posts on Regator:2095
Posts / Week:5.7
Archived Since:March 3, 2008

Blog Post Archive

Senate Can’t Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks

29 minutes agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Being a member of Congress really is the sweetest gig. You can suck at your job, get nothing done at all, collect a six-figure salary plus great benefits, and then take a vacation, because hey, you just worked so hard at not getting anything done, you’ve earned that break. Again: Read more on Senate Can’t Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks…

President Scott Walker Will Overwhelm ISIS With Sheer Weight Of His Flip Flops

17 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Scott Walker, Wisconsin’s governor and yet another 2016 presidential hopeful, is once again groovin’ to the sweet sounds of the Immigration Metronome. According to the Wall Street Journal, while at a private dinner with a group of New...Show More Summary

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh Yeah Wonket? Well YOU’RE An Abortion!

20 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

This week’s crop of deleted comments made us feel a bit nostalgic, since a couple of them employ a rightwing rhetorical trope that we first noticed when we still read the local news-paper while listening to Fleetwood Mac on the Victrola. Show More Summary

We Took A Week Off, Is Florida Still Dumb? (Yes): Your Florida Roundup

21 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

Did you miss Yr Florida Correspondent? Of course you did. Who else would put up with this putrid morass of dumb, for your edification and amusement? No one, that’s who. (Make your checks payable to CASH, please and thank you.) Read more on We Took A Week Off, Is Florida Still Dumb? (Yes): Your Florida Roundup…

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Furious At Tyrant Obama For Letting ISIS Win All Wars

23 hours agoUS Politics / Liberal : Wonkette

The Sarah Palin Channel is running out of things to say. The former governor of Alaska published less than six full minutes of content this week, and her longest video (clocking in at 2:17) focused on a four-year-old tale about the muzzling...Show More Summary

Willie Nelson Will Fulfill Lifelong Dream Of Smoking Out Entire US Of A, For Fun And Profit

Some 81-year-old pothead loser named Willie Nelson, who will never amount to anything because that’s what pot does to you, has a plan to open a chain of retail stores selling his own custom brand of the evil demon weed, and all necessary...Show More Summary

Wingnut Alex Jones And Troll Army Declare WAR On Toymaker For Selling Hillary Clinton Dolls

Jason Feinberg isn’t a political junkie. Sure, he follows politics in general. He votes. And in 2008. his little toy and novelty manufacturing outfit, FCTRY in Brooklyn, had something of a hit with a Barack Obama action figure, which sold around 200,000 units and allowed him to quit teaching high school English to be a full-time entrepreneur guy. Show More Summary

Snake Oil Bulletin: Health Guru ‘Cures’ Cancer With Diet And Detox (And Not Having Cancer)

Salutations, Sailors! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your premium blend of all the latest and greatest in quackery, hackery, and general chicanery. We’ve got a full schedule ahead of us, so let’s nose dive right in to it with some cancer woo. Read more on Snake Oil Bulletin: Health Guru ‘Cures’ Cancer With Diet And Detox (And Not Having Cancer)…

Elizabeth Warren To Wall Street: Drop Dead

The too-big-to-fail banks think they’re going to teach Professor Elizabeth Warren and the rest of her progressive rebel scum a lesson about saying mean things about them. As we just learned, the heads of the five families dick-swingers...Show More Summary

God Gives Lady Gift Of Prophecy To Save The World, Predict How Movies End

Spoiler alert: These people are insufferable. In a recent video (sadly not embeddable), self-proclaimed Christian “prophets” Rebecca Greenwood and traditional straight-married couple Cindy and Mike Jacobs compared notes on how exactly their God-given gifts of prophecy work. Show More Summary

Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent

On Thursday, wingnut Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed his state’s Fuck The Gays bill into law, which basically says that as long as your religion tells you Jesus’s first and only question on Judgment Day will be “and how many of my gay...Show More Summary

Peggy Noonan Impressed By Ted Cruz, Or Weakened By A Hangover, Hard To Tell

Early Monday morning, Peggy Noonan of the Little Sisters of the Ambien Blackout roused herself from slumber. Her head still gauzy from the weekend’s activities, she stumbled to her parlor, where her house-boy, Manuel, had already set out a carafe of strong coffee and packets of the headache powders he found at some Dominican-run bodega nearby. Show More Summary

Internet’s Stupidest Man Chuck C. Johnson: Disgraced Torturer Allen West Also A Big Horndog

So file this under shocking maybe mildly surprising if true: “Award-Winning Journalist” Chuck C. Johnson, the newly crowned Stupidest Man on the Internet, accuses conservative icon and disgraced former Army Colonel and one-term-only congressman Allen West of having done something awful: Read more on Internet’s Stupidest Man Chuck C. Show More Summary

Wall Street Banks Beg Elizabeth Warren To Stop Bullying Them, Or Else

Almost everyone loves watching Sen. Elizabeth Warren yell at the big banks on Wall Street, right? Right! But not everyone. You know who doesn’t love it? The big banks on Wall Street: Read more on Wall Street Banks Beg Elizabeth Warren To Stop Bullying Them, Or Else…

Monsanto Lobbyist: Weed Killer Safe Enough To Drink. Fck No, I Won’t Drink It.

So here’s a thing of beauty: Chemical industry lobbyist Patrick Moore wants to assure the world there is absolutely no truth to the pernicious assertions that glyphosate, the active ingredient in Monsanto’s Roundup herbicide, is harmful to humans. Show More Summary

Mean Democrats: If Tom Cotton Wants To Sext With Iran, He Has To Pay For It Himself

Senate Democrats have a plan to punish and oppress Tom Cotton (R-Confederacy) and to take away his freedom to be a traitorous douche-canoe, and they’re doing it by attacking his precious kitty cat letterhead. Monsters. Read more on Mean Democrats: If Tom Cotton Wants To Sext With Iran, He Has To Pay For It Himself…

Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead

Look, all you screamy liberals, Arizona state Sen. Sylvia Allen is NOT introducing legislation to make going to church on Sunday mandatory, so stop your exaggerating and whining. She just thinks that such a mandate would be an excellent idea, is all. Read more on Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead…

Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change

After insisting that he would absolutely seek re-election in 2016, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid released a video and statement reminding us, in case we’d forgotten, that he used to be an amateur boxer — oh, and also, he will not seek re-election after all. Read more on Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change…

Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress

The House Of Representatives is going into recess for two weeks, which means that ethically challenged CongressCheeks Aaron Schock had to do to his “So Long, Farewell” speech a few days early. Schock had previously promised to resign...Show More Summary

Louie Gohmert Teases 2016 Run Then Quickly Pulls Out, Leaving Us Lonely And Unsatisfied

For a brief moment yesterday, yr Wonkette knew in our blackened heart a moment of the purest, most unfettered joy such as we had never felt before. Purer than when we got that Atari 2600 we wanted for Hanukkah or the first time we touched some boobies. Show More Summary

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