Blog Profile / The Art of Relationships

Filed Under:Lifestyle / Relationships
Posts on Regator:75
Posts / Week:0.4
Archived Since:August 13, 2011

Blog Post Archive

Improve Your Relationship with This Essential Skill

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Relationships can be complicated; and the skills that make them successful are, likewise, sometimes complicated. An extremely important skill that illustrates this is mentalizing. This psychological term refers to the ability of people to understand how people’s minds work, apply this knowledge to their own situations, and relate to these insights [...]

Stop and Say Thank You

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Articles about nurturing healthy relationships often focus on giving – the need to be thoughtful and do nice things for your partner. However, there is another extremely important part of relationships – receiving. For every act of giving, there must be someone to receive. And so, saying ‘thank you’ is essential [...]

Limits of Good Cheer and a Positive Outlook

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD As you know, this is the season of smiles and giving and being cheerful. But there are situations when all of this positivity can actually work against you and your relationship – during any time of year. This is especially true when your circumstance is particularly difficult or your relationship is [...]

Sharing the Pain

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD There are times when we are healed by sharing the pain, and clearly, the recent Newtown, Connecticut tragedy is one of those times. As I listen to the news, I can hear how it connects with people on so many levels that the nation seems to be hurting. It has hit [...]

Just Saying… You are Special

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD You – yes, you, the person reading this – are special. No, I’m not just being nice. I mean it. I was recently sitting with patients and a relatively common thought for me became almost palpable: Each one of them would be so much happier and feel so much more of [...]

Toss Your Unfaithful Thoughts in the Garbage

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD I just read about an interesting study (Brinol, Gasco, Petty, and Horcajo) that will be published in the journal Psychological Science. Subjects in their study were directed to write down what they liked or didn’t like about their bodies. By throwing out a list (either one), people were less influenced by [...]

Relationship Problems: When To Let Them Go

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Now, with the holidays upon us, and the stress of all that they bring, it’s important to remember that your partner is only human… as are you. So, while it’s a great idea to work on improving your relationship, it’s equally important to allow for imperfection. When a problem arises, there [...]

Being Thankful Beyond Thanksgiving

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD So much to do, so little time. You check off things on your to-do list (or, if you’re like me, your many lists) – and move on to the new issues at hand. While this approach to your day might help you efficiently accomplish your goals, an unanticipated consequence is that [...]

Finding Inner Strength Through Relationship Struggles

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. – Reinhold Niebhur Although you may know this best as the Serenity Prayer associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, it was originally written by the American [...]

Surviving the Aftermath of Hurricane Sandy

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Although we braced ourselves for Hurricane Sandy, her effects have been devastating. Many continue to deal with devastation to land and property, injury and deaths, and loss of power – experiences that people struggle with directly, or vicariously through talking with loved ones or watching the news. And it’s all very [...]

Managing Through a Storm

As I write this, the authorities are estimating that 50 million people may lose power due to Hurricane Sandy. So, they are working to get the word out about the need to prepare. Instilling enough concern in people for them to take appropriate action is essential in limiting the ensuing problems. However, many people react [...]

How to Praise Effectively

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD You want those you truly love to be happy and successful in all aspect of their lives. This is a wonderful sentiment that makes for a better world. However, it’s not enough to be supportive and loving. When you give praise, you have to give it in the right way for [...]

Staying Close When Your Loved One is Far

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD As I think about long-distance relationships, the following image comes to my mind: Partners living across from each other in two high-rise apartment buildings that are very close together, and these partners cannot easily visit one another for some reason that never made it into my reverie about the image. The [...]

Errors in Communication

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD When people talk with their partners about problems, there are certain common mistakes they sometimes make that worsen the situation. As I described in Show You Care Through How You Listen, being a good listener can make all the difference in the world in your relationship. But, as you try to [...]

Show You Care Through How You Listen

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Feeling understood and cared about is key in any happy relationship. When miscommunications occur, it’s often not the misunderstanding itself that causes the most problems, but rather the feeling of not being understood and of being alone. Only when your partner “gets” you can he or she truly love and be [...]

Creating a Safe Space in Your Relationship

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD I was recently solicited to review a book, The Laws of Love by Chris Prentiss. Although I have not read the book, I did read the excerpt that they provided. It emphasized how relationships thrive in what he calls Safe Space. His definition of creating a Safe Space is treating your [...]

Feed Your Love To Keep It Strong

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD The beginning of a relationship is a lot like the birth of an infant. It is new and exciting. It is filled with promise. And, it seems to embody love. Daily struggles and serious problems have no place in the hearts or minds of new lovers; until, of course, the natural [...]

Unloved but Still Lovable

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD One of the great joys of being in a relationship is feeling essential in someone else’s life. When you don’t feel cherished in this way, it is deeply painful. Whether it’s a dull constant ache that grows bigger with time or a sharp pain that overpowers you, it’s there. And along [...]

Lessons from an Affair

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Just as earthquakes shake the ground we walk on, the discovery of an affair shakes the very foundation of a marriage. There are no two ways about it: affairs are destructive. They are a betrayal of a commitment that two people have made to devote themselves to each other. Yet, sometimes, [...]

Cope Better, Be Happier

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD Whatever your particular struggles, you may come to a point when you begin to question your way of coping – or even recognize that it’s working against you. This can become especially clear when you are either chronically unhappy or your relationship is in trouble. Unfortunately, you may still not know [...]

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