Blog Profile / xoJane

Filed Under:Lifestyle
Posts on Regator:14335
Posts / Week:64.4
Archived Since:June 21, 2012

Blog Post Archive

7 Black TV Heroines Who Taught Me the Realest Love Lessons

11 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

With fall shows gearing up to make their 2016 debut and return, I can’t help but think about all the strong representations of Black women on my television screen who taught me important lessons about love. They did so without fear, leaving imprints and providing lessons that have long guided me in... Continue reading

I Rented the House from Hell

12 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

After living in upstate New York with my daughter for years, I started to feel like we both needed a change. I was laid off and no longer had ties to the cushy neighborhood where we rented a townhome, but I had family that lived in a beach town in Connecticut. So I thought I'd... Continue reading

IT HAPPENED TO ME: Having Sex with Strangers Made Me Realize I'd Been Sexually Abused as a Child

13 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

I grew up believing sex was an act of surrender. As a girl, I'd heard horror stories of women being driven mad after being duped by their first partner. By losing her virginity, a woman had to give up her body as well as her mind. There was something about sex that made women vulnerable, and they... Continue reading

My Marriage Broke Down Around Age 30 — And So Did Most of My Friends' Relationships

13 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

Things started out so well. My wedding day was perfect. The sun shone down on the 15th-century castle we’d hired for a hundred guests, even though it was April in Ireland. I wore a silk and lace gown with hundreds of tiny sequins, and I was marrying the man I’d been with for three years.We’d met... Continue reading

Befriending Women a Little Older Than Me Has Completely Changed My Outlook on Life

15 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

Growing up, I had a friend named Jenny. I was 7 and she was nearly 12, and for some reason, everyone thought this was weird. Jenny was well-read and tall. She seemed impossibly sophisticated to a second-grader like me. We were both imaginative, and spent hours together creating mystery stories... Continue reading

Caitlin's Browser History: Racist Pinterest

15 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

I know I'm not alone in guilt-reading fundamentalist bloggers. Some of them have really nice hair and great cheap decorating tips, so I manage to turn a blind eye when their blogs go off the rails and dedicate a few posts to the benefits of being a humbly submissive bride of Christ or... Continue reading

"Audrie & Daisy" Bites Back at Rape Culture

17 hours agoLifestyle : xoJane

Rape, the way we talk about rape, and victims have been more prominent than ever before, from New York Mag's "35 Women and #TheEmptyChair" cover to the furor over the Brock Turner case to a recent horrific longread on The Daily Beast about a rape ring populated by pickup artists to the news... Continue reading

8 Things We Didn't Write About, But That You Might Want to Comment on, Including Disney's Controversial Halloween Costume

yesterdayLifestyle : xoJane

There's election stuff in this week's things-we-didn't-write-about roundup. Shocking. Even when we do write about the candidates, there's still a ton of material we don't get to give our take on, and a lot of it is pretty interesting. So even though you won't get an XO contributor's or editor's... Continue reading

Why I'm Not Playing the "Pick 3 Fictional Characters That Describe You" Game on Facebook

yesterdayLifestyle : xoJane

A friend once asked me why I didn't like the TV show Friends. As a young white woman who came of age during Friends's heyday, she only had rosy feelings for the show. I don't begrudge her those feelings, as we can't choose what triggers warmth and nostalgia in us. If we were to... Continue reading

COTW: Everything Is Embarrassing

yesterdayLifestyle : xoJane

Hello, commenter friends. How's your weekend going? I'm writing this, like all COTWs, at about 3 p.m. on Friday, so mine hasn't started yet. I don't know if there's something in the air or what, but I've been having a million mini-cringe embarrassing moments over the past week. To recap:I'm... Continue reading

Cancel Your Plans and Come Hang Out in This No-Pressure, All-Are-Welcome Open Thread

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

The (unflattering) picture above was taken yesterday right after we figured out that, although Caitlin is the Alpha Menstruator here in xoJaneland, I am the Alpha Insomniac. That means that my pet, Caitlin, has been wide-awake every time I get up in the night, which is generally about once an... Continue reading

I Told My Husband About My Previous Articles on xoJane

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

What was meant to be one part personal catharsis, one part "another website to diversify my writing portfolio," and one part public controversy, my essay "Feminism Has Enabled My Husband to Become Lazy and Selfish" — and its follow-up response — ended up being what felt... Continue reading

IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Peed Myself on My Way to Reunite with My Long-Distance Boyfriend

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

We were close right from the get-go. Within minutes of meeting, he stuck his finger in my ear wet-willy style, unearthed a dollop of leftover conditioner and presented it to me. "You missed a bit," he said.He straight-up crossed the boundary and closed any gap between us. Funny then that we've... Continue reading

I Thought I Was A Hopeless Romantic — Turns Out I'm Demisexual

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

Demi: half - from the medieval Latin word demidiousDemisexual: half sexual.The hell is that? That’s a thing? How can you be half sexual? How is this a sexuality?Sexuality, to say the least, can be very complicated and intricate. There are multiple spectrums that come into consideration when talking... Continue reading

9 Things You Should Always Negotiate with Your Partner When You Get Kinky

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

The first time you discover the world of kink, you'll probably be a little bit apprehensive, but mostly excited. That's how I felt, at least, once I could fully embrace that part of myself and joined my local community.But, as a lifelong writer and thinker and future psychologist, I started looking... Continue reading

I Still Listen to the Tween Pop I Loved in Middle School, And It Has Even Deeper Meaning Now

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

Whether you were the little girl bawling along with the unforgettable Girl-Who-Ugly-Cried as Sanjaya rocked "You Really Got Me" or the young guy who secretly man-crushed on the JoBros, there's something about the music of the '00s that simply can't be found chart-toppers of my generation's... Continue reading

Caitlin's Browser History: Online Foliage Maps

3 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

I love a lot of things about living in New York City (ugh, OK, by "things" I mean the amount of restaurants available to me and my bodega guy), but one thing I do not love is how difficult it is to find some green space around here, especially in the fall (which I guess makes it red/orange space).I... Continue reading

To All the Dogs We've Loved Before — OK, Ew, That Sounded Romantic

4 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

It's rather fitting that it's National Dog Week. Seven years ago this very week, I went with my friend Amy to an animal shelter in Boca Raton, Florida, to help her return the traps she'd borrowed to catch feral cats, get them spayed or neutered, and release them; while I was there, I couldn't... Continue reading

Let's Stop Minimizing Our Pain Just Because We Can Compare It to Something "Worse"

4 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

The other day, I was having one of those conversations with a close friend who is going through a tough time emotionally that made me wish I could magically pluck my friend’s pain out of her heart and also go bitch-slap her long-term romantic partner, whose behavior was the immediate source of the... Continue reading

IT HAPPENED TO ME: Becoming a Chef Turned Me into a Bully

4 days agoLifestyle : xoJane

"Are you stupid?" my chef asked. I just stared back, dumbstruck. I felt like Wile E. Coyote trapped under a piano, utterly crushed. "Tell me right now, are you fucking stupid?" I cannot remember what I said next — that's not really the important part. This first incident of... Continue reading

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