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The Inaugural Roger Clinton Shttiest Celebrity Brothers Power Rankings

OnthisdayinhistoryintheHotSprings,Arkansassummerheatof1956,RogerClinton,Jr.wasborntoanalcoholiccarsalesmannamedRoger,obviously,andawomannamedVirginiaCassidy.Tenyearsearlierandwithherfirstoffoureventualhusbands,VirginiahadgivenbirthtShow More Summary

25 Things We Hope Happen At Whatever, USA

Forthreedays,BudLightwillbeconstructingthetownofWhatever,USA,wherethosewhoareupforwhatevermaygatherandthemostawesome,amazing,andunusualofthingswillhappen.Wedon’tknowquitewhatwillhappen,butwehavehopesanddreams,likethesetwenty-fiveitems.SoccerPlayedWithGiganticBalls.No,TheKindFilledWithHelium.

Enjoy This Supercut Of ’80s Movie Characters Hacking Away On Laughable Computer Technology

Rememberbackinthe’80swhenyou’dbeplayingTurtleincomputerscienceclassandthengowatchsomemoviewherecomputersseemedlikethesemagicalentitiesthatcoulddovirtuallyanythingyouaskedofthemanditseemedliketotalbullcrap?Well,it’sbecauseitwastotalbullcrap.Peoplewhomademoviesinthe’80sdidn’texactlyhaveafirmgrasponwhatwasorwasn’tplausiblecomputertechnology,sotheyjustsortofwingedit.

Watch Jimmy Fallon Read These Outstanding #MyWorstBirthday Tweets

JimmyFallondidanotherroundofhisalwaysentertaining#Hashtagssegmentlastnight(seepreviously:#WorstGiftEver and#WorstSummerJob),becausehavingrandompeoplerecountsomeoftheirworstexperiencesinlifeisnevernotentertaining.Ikindofwishhe’sdoalittleless“yuckyucking”aftereachonesothey’dhavetimetofitmorefunnytweetsintothesegment,butwhatareyagonnado.

Watch A Russian Woman Perform A Striptease For The Cops So Her Car Won’t Get Towed

Inanattempttopreventhercarfrombeingtowedaway,amysteriousRussianwomanperformedastripteaseforthetrafficcopsonsight,andevenbeganusingthetowtruckasapoletodancearound.Themanwhopostedthevideoonlinewrote,“LookathowfarsomedriversgotostoptheShow More Summary

UPROXX 20: Larry King Reads Books, Doesn’t Cook, Loves Red Wine And The Dodgers

LarryKingisthehostofOra.tv’sEmmy-nominatedLarryKingNow,seasonthreeofwhichkicksoffthisweek,whichyoucanwatchonHulu orOra.Previously,hewasthehostofCNN’sLarryKingLivefor25years,from1985to2010andspentmanyyearspriortothatworkinginradio.

Washington DC’s Providence Hospital Is A Nightmarish Rat-Filled Hell Hole, Says Former Contractor

WARNING,DISTURBINGCONTENTAHEADNOREALLY,THISISYOURLASTCHANCETOAVOIDFULLBODYRETCHINGOKAYFINE,HEREYOUGOSo,aformermorguecontractorhassuccessfullysuedtheD.C.’sProvidenceHospitaltothetuneof$230,000foremotionaldistressaftershewasattackedbyratsonthejob,whichhadinfestedthehospitalmorgue.

Watch This Dog Literally Pass Out From Joy After Seeing A Family Member For The First Time In Two Years

Yesterdaywebroughtyouthissupercutofpeoplepassingout onlivetelevision,butitinnowaycomparestothisvideoofasuperexciteddogthatpassesoutduetotheoverwhelming,unbridledjoyathavingseenthismemberofitsfamilyaftertwoyears.I’lljustsavemy“dogsarethebest,blahblahblah”speechforanothertime,butseriously:Haveyoueverbeenthishappytoseeanyonethatyouweren’tfcking?

Nicki Minaj Rated The Butts Of Various Female Models On Instagram

SoNickiMinajhasanewsongcomingoutsoon.It’scalled“Anaconda,”andwithatitlelikethatandacoverlikethis,I’msureit’saboutassettleasKatyPerry’s“Peacock.”Thesecondtheartwasreleased,theInternethadafielddaywithit,whichleadtothismasterpiece:ThatcomesfromNicki’sInstagram,whereshecommented,“Doingthemost.

‘I Am Not A Role Model’: Jennette McCurdy Responded To The Haters With A Post On Reddit

JennetteMcCurdyisveryawarethatyou’re(thegrand“you’re,”notyouinparticular,obviously)#fapfapfap’ingwhilelookingatphotosofher,andshe’sequallycognizantofhowshe’sperceivedonline.SotheformerSam&CatstarwrotealengthycommentonherownSubreddit,themodern-dayequivalentofsigningyourownyearbook,tosaythatshe’s“notarolemodel.”Iamnotarolemodel.

An MLB Player Used Matthew McConaughey’s Chest-Thumping Chant As His Walk-Up Song

Thebestthingaboutbeingaprofessionalbaseballplayerisn’ttheadmirationofmillions,orthemoney,orthegroupies,orhangingoutwithHank —it’schoosingyourwalk-upmusic.IfIwere,say,thestartingshortstopformyNewYorkMets(whichIprobablycouldbe),thesonShow More Summary

This Man Got So Excited While Taking Real Estate Photos That He Forgot To Put His Penis Away

Austin,Texas,isagreatcityformusicfestivals,barbeque,andputtingyourpenisinrealestatelistings,apparently.Gawkerwassentalink toahouseforsaleonHotPads,whichinandofitselfisn’tveryinteresting—it’safairlystandardfivebedroom,fourbathroomthree-story…andthere’sthewang.Youcanseeitblurredabove,andtheuncensoredatthesource.

News Post: The Talk, By Scott Kurtz

Tycho: Last call: come see us at Booth 1334 if you’re headed to SDCC. If you aren’t, or… if you are Croatian, I apologize. That information doesn’t really help you at all. I hope everything is cool in, like… Zagreb. The one thing about San Diego Comic Con I always forget the rest of the year is how cold it is in there. Show More Summary

All Hail The Queen: 6 Times Summer Glau Was Nerd Royalty

Firefly.Serenity.Dollhouse.Angel.TheBigBangTheory.TheSarahConnorChronicles.Chuck.TheCape(#SixSeasonsAndAMovie).Arrow.Superman/Batman:Apocalypse.SummerGlau’sfilmographyreadslikeanerd’sDVDcollection—allthat’smissingisBattlestarGalactiShow More Summary

Watch A Vicious Fox Murder And Eat This Guy’s GoPro Camera In The Cutest Way Possible

Theguywhohadbeenrecordingthisvideo wasinRoundIsland,Alaska,tofilmwildlifewiththeUniversityofAlaskaAnchorage.Heandsomecolleagueshadbeenfilmingsealionswhentheysawafoxcomingalong,sotheyputthecameraonthegroundtoseeiftheycouldgetsomecloseupaction.

This Pro-Choice Couple Trolled Anti-Abortionists With Some Spectacularly Clever Signs

OncertainSaturdaymornings,insteadofwatchingcartoonsandingestingdangerousamountsofcereal-flavoredsugarliketheaverageAmerican,GraysonHaverCurrinandhiswifeTinaprotestalongsidepro-lifersataclinicinCary,NorthCarolina.Excepttheirsignsdon’Show More Summary

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