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Advice for New Fathers

A few days ago, I was talking to a co-worker who was about to become a new grandmother. “When’s the baby due?” I said. “My daughter’s due Sunday,” Leslie said. “But if the baby doesn’t come by then they’re going to induce on Monday.” “How’s The post Advice for New Fathers appeared first on Waiter Rant.

My Own Private Rapture

I was calling a worker bee at government agency when I got this gem of a voicemail message, “I’m not available to take your call at this time, but if you leave your name, number and a brief message, I will call you back at The post My Own Private Rapture appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Infinite Monkey Theorem

A few weeks ago I was in the pharmacy picking up a prescription for my wife. Trouble was, the pharmacist wouldn’t give it to me. “Can you spell her name again? he asked, holding a bottle of pills in his hand.  My wife kept her The post Infinite Monkey Theorem appeared first on Waiter Rant.

I Still Want to Play

My wife had a business meeting in Seattle and, having never been there myself, we decided to make it a mini-family vacation. After a tumultuous plane ride with a three-year-old, we landed in the birthplace of Starbucks. Annie didn’t wrap up work at the convention The post I Still Want to Play appeared first on Waiter Rant.

California Dreaming

My wife and I were packing the car and getting ready to leave our rented house off Hollywood Boulevard when a storm of howling profanity suddenly filled the air.  Turning my head towards the noise, I spotted a disheveled man barreling straight towards us.  Black, The post California Dreaming appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Girls Can Do Anything

When my wife got home from work yesterday the look on her face said it all. “Tough day with the baby?” I said. “She was a terror all day,” Annie said. “She fought over everything little thing and she screamed all the way home.” I The post Girls Can Do Anything appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Sidework Scams, Tip Shaving and No Overtime

Over the years, I’ve written extensively about the various machinations restaurant owners employ to pilfer wages and tips from their waitstaff. Whether it’s mom and pop operations or big chain restaurants, many owners seem unable to resist the temptation to steal from their employees; often The post Sidework Scams, Tip Shaving and No Overtime appeared first on Waiter Rant.

All the News That’s Fit to Print

My daughter is three, broke and unemployed. Time for her to pull her weight. “You now have a job,” I told my daughter one fine Sunday morning. “Job?’ she said, bewildered. “Go get Daddy’s newspaper. It’s at the end of the driveway.” Natalie’s face lit up The post All the News That’s Fit to Print appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Challenger

The car rental counters at LAX are the busiest in the world. Luckily for me, my wife and I arrived during a slow time. “You go get the car,” my wife said as we got off the shuttle bus. “I’ll get the luggage.” Since my The post Challenger appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Always and Forever

“Wake up sleepy head,” I said to my daughter, Natalie. “What? What?” she said, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “It’s time for your special treat,” my wife said. “It’s not my birthday,” Natalie, said. “It doesn’t always have to be your birthday to get a The post Always and Forever appeared first on Waiter Rant.

The Gift of Hollywood Boulevard

My wife and I were walking down Hollywood Boulevard, heading towards Musso & Frank Grill for a drink. In Manhattan, looking up at Gotham’s skyscrapers marks you as a tourist. Here, looking down at the sidewalk is a surefire indicator you’re from out of town. The post The Gift of Hollywood Boulevard appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Good Friday

I was sitting in a McDonald’s with my nephew when he asked me what time it was. “What grade are you in?” I asked. “Third,” he replied. “So, you know how to read a clock, right?” “Uh uh.” I took of my watch and handed The post Good Friday appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Get Off the Fucking Plane

By now you’ve all probably heard about United Airlines’ public relations/customer service fiasco. If you didn’t here it is in a nutshell – a plane was overbooked, they had to get a flight crew of four on board, they offered $800 in vouchers for volunteers The post Get Off the Fucking Plane appeared first on Waiter Rant.

The Today Show

On Wednesday, March 22nd, I will be on The Today Show somewhere between 9:00 – 9:30 AM. We’ll be discussing how you can get good service in a restaurant, Tune in! The post The Today Show appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Rendering Judgement  

Yesterday my daughter toddled into the house after pre-school and issued her usual demand. “Peppa TV Daddy! Peppa TV!” My daughter is totally in love with Peppa Pig, a children’s cartoon from Great Britain.  Much to the amusement of her teachers she’s watched so much The post Rendering Judgement   appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Eye of the Needle

A few weeks ago, a father called me and asked if his children could volunteer at my food pantry. “I was raised with nothing,” he told me. “Then I got lucky and made a lot of money. Now I live in a big house in The post Eye of the Needle appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Happy Birthday Old Friend

“Buster” turned fourteen years old yesterday, officially surpassing his breed’s normal lifespan. Happy Birthday old friend. I owe you a great deal. The post Happy Birthday Old Friend appeared first on Waiter Rant.

It’s My Turn

It was a crisp fall morning and I was walking towards my truck when a young boy ran up to me. “There’s trouble, sir! Come quick!” I stared down at the boy. “What kind of trouble?” “Mr. Johnson’s being robbed.” I looked at the general The post It’s My Turn appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Motivation

It was 2:00 AM on a hot and humid night and I was driving home after spending an evening with friends. The heavy and dank air kept fogging up my windshield and no amount of fiddling with the A/C or rolling down the windows would The post Motivation appeared first on Waiter Rant.

The Other Side of Light

I was relaxing at my parent’s house in Pennsylvania when my dog, Felix, began whinnying and pawing at the door. “You have to go out?” I said. Felix’s reply was a short bark. Hauling myself off the couch, I slipped on my shoes and opened The post The Other Side of Light appeared first on Waiter Rant.

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