If you’ve come to this website after watching 20/20, welcome! Most of my waiter stories can be found in the archives dating from 2004-2009. After that, you’ll find some fiction I wrote and some observations I’ve made about life. I hope you enjoy all my stories! And yes, you can buy Waiter Rant or my [...]
Hey everybody. I’ll be on ABC’s 20/20 this Friday night at 10PM. Set your DVRs!
(Another Byrne story I wrote for fun. Comments and free editorial suggestions welcome.) Hoboken used to be a tough town filled with stevedores and working stiffs until a wave of New York real estate fetishists crossed the Hudson back in the 90’s and turned it into an oblast of Manhattan. As I walked down Washington [...]
(Another Byrne story I wrote a while back. Experimenting with the genre. Enjoy!) It was two o’clock in the afternoon when I heard the shots ring out. If you’ve ever spent time around firearms, the sound of gunfire is unmistakable. Those who haven’t often mistake it for firecrackers going off or a car backfiring. It’s [...]
(I wrote this for giggles a while back. Not a very serious work, but I hope you enjoy it.) In my twenty years as both a cop and private investigator I’ve been asked to find a lot of things in New Jersey: murderers, rapists, thieves, drugs, stolen cars, putrefying body parts in the Meadowlands, one [...]
I had just been hired to follow a guy. Funny thing was, I had no know idea why I was being hired to follow him. The guy paying me just said, “Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.” “What kind of trouble?” “You’ll know it when you see it.” [...]
Two weeks ago my dog Buster became unable to jump on the couch. Buster lives on the couch so I found this development mildly worrisome. At nine years old he has some arthritis and is not a limber as he still thinks he is. Then a few days later his back legs gave out and [...]
My girlfriend loves estate sales. Every weekend for the past couple of months, she’s been hunting for bargains in what I call “dead old lady houses,” usually with me in tow. The irony that I’m engaging in a Yuppie activity akin to antiquing is not lost on me. My girlfriend has indeed found some nice [...]
Hi everybody. I’ll be on CNBC tonight. The program is titled, “Customer Disservice” and it will air at 9pm ET/8pm CT. Tune in!
Family is great. Christmas was wonderful. New Years eve now and tomorrow a brand new calender. Food has been good lately..I'll be around in '12. Lots of months in 2011 with no updates. But... as a dad I've been busy.
Hey everybody: Sorry I’ve been away so long. Let’s just say my life is unfolding nicely and I’ve been very busy. I’m enjoying the holidays with my fantastic and lovely girlfriend, so I’m just fine. May you all have a Happy (Insert appropriate holiday here) and a wonderful New Year! And if you go out [...]
I’m a New Jerseyan and proud of it. Here’s why! 1. Because we have the most diners in the world, you can always get something to soak up the booze at 3:00 AM. 2. The Jersey accent makes you sound tough, even if you aren’t. 3. You’re usually only three persons removed from knowing a [...]
This morning I read an article in the New York Times that really upset me. Titled, “My Shrink is my Co-Author” the author, Susan Shapiro, describes the ups and downs of writing a book with her longtime psychotherapist “Dr. W.” The good doctor, it seems, is an expert on addictions who helped Ms. Shapiro quit [...]
It turns out the story about 25% tips in San Fransisco was made up! But even though the story was bogus, it generated a lot of controversy. Such is the power of tipping!
The subject of tipping sells papers. The mere mention of gratuities – whether it’s about how to, why or who should get them – elicits passionate responses from both Che Guevara t-shirt wearing income redistribution guerillas and “Fuck the poor” Ayn Randian lunatics alike. And this debate has been raging for years. If you look [...]
But it's been a busy time with a child. Stay tuned..
I have to get to Sirius Radio in Manhattan to do an interview for the Martha Stewart Channel. For me, the best way to travel to Midtown is by bus. It’s not a good idea to go on the air stressed out after slaloming through insane New York traffic. In my opinion, New Yorkers are [...]
It’s nine in the morning on September 11, 2001. I’ve gotten up early to take my girlfriend to a job interview on 67th Street in New York. I’m not happy about this. Rush hour traffic in Manhattan’s always a bitch so, as Allie is in the bathroom putting the finishing touches on her makeup, I [...]
Hey everybody. The paperback edition of Keep the Change is coming out on September 6! I will be doing a couple of book signings in the area. The dates and places are listed below. If you can come, I’d love to meet you. Have a nice Labor Day Weekend everyone. Friday September 9th. 7:30 PM [...]
If you live on the East Coast, you’re probably aware that a hurricane is headed our way. I don’t want to sound like Chicken Little but if we get wacked there’s a possibility that we could lose power for several days. My power gets knocked out often whenever my town experiences a bad thunderstorm, so [...]