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Sure, But You Don't Want to Actually Write That on the Mortgage Application

Guy #1: You know how people say that if you give homeless people money, all they'll buy is drugs and alcohol?Guy #2: Yeah.Guy #1: Well, fuck, that's what I would buy!–9th St & University PlaceOverheard by: JazzHeadline by: bqRunners-Up:· “Behold, the Democratic Stimulus Plan!” – The Trayster· “I Guess That Explains the Cardboard Box You […]

Tentative settlement reached between teachers and L.A. Unified

The L.A. Unified School District and the teachers union reached a tentative contract settlement Friday night on a three-year deal that includes a 10% salary increase over two years.

…Shall We Take It from the Top?

Delivery guy, singing: Tra-la! Tra-la! Tra-la!Halal meat kiosk guy, singing: Tra-la!Delivery guy: Tra-la!Kiosk guy: Tra-la!Delivery guy: Tra-la!Kiosk guy: Tra-la!Delivery guy: Tra-la!Kiosk guy: Tra-la!Delivery guy: Tra-la!Kiosk guy: Tra-la!–43rd St b/w 2nd & 3rd AveOverheard by: Pleasantly surprised

Female faculty faced bias at UCLA medical school center, probe finds

Women faculty at UCLA's Alzheimer's disease research center faced "a climate of conflict, tension, hostility and mistrust" for about a decade and were treated in an "unprofessional, demeaning manner," an investigation at the campus medical school has found.

Concert review: Bryan Adams shines through rainy night at Verizon

BY LIZ MINIET When the video for “Cuts Like a Knife” was showing up on MTV all the time around 1983-84, I was a sophomore in high school. Please don’t do the math. Please! By the time

Kings' Jarret Stoll reportedly arrested on suspicion of drug possession

Kings center Jarret Stoll was arrested Friday on suspicion of drug possession at a Las Vegas resort, according to the CBS TV affiliate in Las Vegas.

Four of Five Dentists Recommend Wednesday One-Liners

Guy: Then I looked down at her and said, ‘Your bleached teeth are burning my dick!’–Caliente Cab Co., Waverly & GreenSuit to female companion: You’ll stick your tongue up my ass, but you won’t share my toothbrush because of germs?!–Renaissance Hotel, Times SquareOverheard by: Big LarryGirl on cell: … So then he asked me to […]

“…on the other hand, it does shit itself all the time.”

Guy on cell: They showed me the baby’s room and the crib had all these crazy functions I couldn’t understand. The baby even has a walk-in closet filled with clothes and it’s only 2 days old! They just bought a new stroller too…it probably has a built-in MP3, CD and DVD player. –Brooklyn Heights Overheard […]

State board of education member resigns over superintendent hire

James Baumann, a key member of the Illinois State Board of Education, formally resigned this week, citing concerns about the unusual way the new state school superintendent was chosen.

Feds eye CPS records on outside education group backed by elites like Rauner

Federal corruption investigators looking into a $20.5 million no-bid contract at Chicago Public Schools also have asked for any records related to an elite nonprofit education group that has long been at the center of city school reform efforts — the first indication that the public relations problem...

Clippers considering a change to their logo, colors and uniform

The Clippers are considering introducing a new logo, colors and uniform as early as this off-season. Photos of the potential  new uniforms are being posted on the Internet.

Tennis umpire's false arrest lawsuit against LAPD is dismissed

A U.S. District Court judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by a tennis umpire against the Los Angeles Police Department and county coroner's office alleging she was falsely arrested and wrongfully accused of bludgeoning her husband to death with a coffee cup.

N.C. liquor law update

The Asheville Citizen-Times provides an update on various bills before the General Assembly to change how alcohol is sold in North Carolina. A brief summary from the article: State law requires that all sales of liquor by the bottle be in the network of ABC stores that are owned by and benefit local government. Brewers […]

Elephants en route from Seattle to Oklahoma City make San Diego detour

Two aging Asian elephants arrived Friday at the San Diego Zoo after plans to transport them from Seattle to Oklahoma City were disrupted by stormy weather and concerns about the animals' well-being.

15 tips for planning your summer vacation

Here's important vacation preparation information from "The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead" by Max Brooks: "If you believe you can accomplish everything by 'cramming' at the 11th hour, by all means, don't lift a finger now. But you may think twice about beginning...

Girls’ soccer: Jackie Katalinas, South County shut out No. 10 W.T. Woodson

High up the ball soared into the night sky, sending South County goalie Jackie Katalinas into a steady, dangerous backpedal near the net. The shot — one in a barrage of attempts by W.T. Woodson’s girls’ soccer team during Friday’s second...Show More Summary

Home Robberies In Buena Park

Hey, guys, this isn't Mayberry. Even Mayberry isn't Mayberry any more. Lock your doors and windows!

She’s the Cob, and They’re the Cornholders

Girl: There’s a Duane Reade. Guy #1: What do we need a Duane Reade for? Girl: If we’re gonna do this, you guys both have to be wearing condoms. –84th & Broadway Suit #1: But what happens if our cocks accidentally touch? Suit #2: Well…we’re both adults, we’ll just have to deal with it. –52nd […]

USC Now mailbag: It's (almost) all about the uniforms

OK, I get it. USC fans who emailed were emphatic that they do not want changes made to the Trojans’ uniforms.

Housemate charged in death of college student in Fredericksburg, Va.

A University of Mary Washington student from the Falls Church area died Friday in what Fredericksburg, Va., police called a homicide. Another student was arrested and charged in the death, police said. Read full article >>

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