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Now I Fantasize about Suicide, Like Everybody Else in the City

Lady: Wow, that really sucks…Man: Yeah, you never know how useful all your fingers are until you lose one. And you know what’s so crazy? I used to fantasize about cutting one of my fingers off before this happened.Lady: Are you serious? Which one?Man: I couldn’t decide…–2nd St & Ave COverheard by: bestbelieve

Mayor proposes composting mandate for hotels, arenas, large food businesses

Hotels, arenas and large-scale restaurants would be required to separate food waste from regular trash under a proposal by Mayor Bill de Blasio. The new regulation would apply to restaurants in... To view the full story, click the title link.

New York Today: A Revolution, Relearned

Thursday: New York in the Revolution, sunshine, and another Independence Day anniversary.

Before We Rejoin the Pod

Girl #1: How's this look? Does it make me look fat? Like super obese fat?Girl #2: You are fat. So, uhhh…yeah, sorta.Girl #1: Let's get some cupcakes.–92nd & 3rd

What’s That in Straight Guys?

Guy: I’m the only guy here.Girl #1: But Moses will be here soon. Wait, that won’t change things.Girl #2: Yeah, he’s more like half a guy.Guy: Half a gay guy.–Manhattan bound F trainOverheard by: Julz

Reader Poll: Should Jack Be Worried?

20-ish girl: Jack is going to Vegas for a bachelor party Friday. Should I be worried? What really happens at those things, anyway?30-ish guy: It depends. The last one I went to was pretty low-key, but I’ve been to plenty of crazy bachelor weekends with strippers and a double-ended dildo.20-ish girl: That’s it?! I’ve been […]

Not as Fast as Bolivian Marching Powder

TA guy: There are different types of pains, some of which go all the way to the brain and others that only go to the spinal cord. Ashley Olsen: So do, like, emotional pains go to the brain? –NYU Psychology building, Washington Place Overheard by: bvo

But Funnily Enough, What Really Set her off was ‘I’m Only With you for the Pussy’

Hipster guy: So she said in a few years, she would be ready for children.Hipster girl: So what did you say to her?Hipster guy: I told her in a few years, I would be ready for a puppy, or a houseplant. Or maybe a mountain bike.Hipster girl: That was the wrong answer.–Astoria bound N trainOverheard […]

NYRA produced a better Belmont, fan group says

The most important thing for the outfit that runs the Belmont Stakes is that American Pharoah won the first Triple Crown in nearly four decades at last month’s race. But the New York Racing... To view the full story, click the title link.

Developers mulling legal challenge to 421-a deal

Top developers in the city are questioning the legality of the deal to revamp the 421-a tax exemption program for housing, notably a provision empowering the Real Estate Board of New York and the... To view the full story, click the title link.

Say aloha to next hot biz app

The future of emergency communications—as well as how supervisors will track sales reps, hotel managers connect with housekeepers, airport crews dock planes or music-festival staffers prepare... To view the full story, click the title link.

A Rhesus Monkey is Really Not a Good Pet

Mother: I don’t want you playing with that! It’s too big for you!Son: I’m gonna spank it if I want to!–Goodwill, 23rd StOverheard by: Lady

And, Non-Coincidentally, the Last Time We Were Hired to Babysit

Girl #1: Where should we go, posh?Girl #2: Posh? When did we go to posh again?Girl #1: That was the night we left those Irish kids on the park bench.–LIRROverheard by: Daniel

Columbia Is the Entitled Pukes’ Playground

Gangster on cell: Fuck you, I’m gettin my nails done if I want to.Columbia student: Vanity is the extrovert’s insecurity.–110th & AmsterdamOverheard by: Hobo

Your Editors Aren't Eating Pizza in Brooklyn 'til We Sort This Out

Friend: Where's that pizza from?Stroller dad: Tony's.Friend: Oh, Tony's.Stroller dad: Yeah. We named our rabbit Tony.Friend: Because it poops all the time?Stroller dad: Yeah.–Bar, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

…My Parents, Teachers, Mailmen, That Guy at the Bodega…

Middle-school boy: Yeah, you’re a pathological liar.Middle-school girl: What do you mean? When have I lied to you? I never lie. I only lie to my therapist.–1 trainOverheard by: cate

Extra, Extra: Going Undercover As A Nail Salon Worker

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Columbia Denies Students' Requests For Trigger Warnings, But Randomly Switches Up Required Reading List

Columbia students are calling for more input in their required reading, since much of the literature included in the current syllabi contains violent sexual acts that some might consider upsetting. Ovid’s Metamorphoses has been canned. Show More Summary

F, G Train Problems Due To Con Ed Manhole Fires On Bergen Street

Sorry, F and G train riders: Your commute home tonight will be interesting. Notify NYC just sent me this very useful email: "Notification issued 7/1/15 at 5:16 PM. Due to Con Edison related issues, there is no F train service between 4th Avenue and Jay Street (BK) and no G train service between Church Avenue and Bedford Avenue (BK). Show More Summary

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