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Mugabe’s soul fails to achieve reserve price in auction for health
A spokesman for Hell Inc. confirmed yesterday that the attempt by Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe to auction his soul to Satan and associated demons in exchange for another year of health had failed. Succubus MacLevolent explained: “The silly goose forgot that the title deed to his soul has been held by Hell Inc since 2000.”
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Mugabe at the Vatican: Dictator beats EU travel ban to be among 1.5m watching Pope beatify his predecessor - 2nd May 2011
Brutal dictator Robert Mugabe sidestepped a European travel ban to attend the beatification of the late Pope John Paul II at the Vatican yesterday. The Zimbabwean president was able to join the crowd of 1.5million at the ceremony be... Read Post
"Go Hang," Zimbabwe President's Spokesman Tells The West
SHARM EL-SHEIK, Egypt — Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe will not step down and Western critics who called the country's recent election a sham can "go hang," the longtime ruler's spokesman said Tuesday. The defiant comments raise... Read Post
Vatican blesses torture of Zimbabweans, but condoms still Satan’s purse
The Catholic Church has officially blessed the systematic torture of Zimbabweans but has reminded Catholics that wearing a condom will send them straight to hell. The new policy was announced as Robert Mugabe was welcomed to the Vat... Read Post