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Jessica Simpson Gave Birth To Baby Girl Maxwell Drew Johnson (Who’s Not Addicted To Crack Pie!)

Jessica Simpson finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Maxwell Drew Johnson, in L.A. this morning. Maxwell weights 9 pounds 13 ounces (which is totally normal, by the way), and according to sources, is "totally healthy." Concern trolls can all breathe a sign of relief: This newborn is not addicted to crack pie or buttered pop tarts; just embarrassed by her mother's open discussion of prenatal sex.
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