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7 things you should at least pretend to know today.

We get it, you're far too busy and important to read all of the news, so here's a quick and dirty run-down of today's top stories. In less than 5 minutes, you can learn everything you need to know for Wednesday September 28th, 2016. 1. A driver in Oregon got a $136 ticket for using a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump's head to ride in the carpool lane. The state trooper knew it was a prop because the hair looked too realistic.
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