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7 things you should at least pretend to know today.

The news is overwhelming. There's too damn much of it! Luckily for those of you with short attention spans, we've combed the internet for everything you should know today, Thursday September 29, 2016. 1. Chipotle to pay $8 million settlement for sexual assault case. Congratulations to Chipotle on finally having a scandal that does not involve E. Coli. 2. Presidential hopeful Gary Johnson struggled to name one world leader he respects.
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