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Clown Attack Prompts School Closure in Ohio

We live in a terrifying world in which an orange-haired freak is stalking the countryside, threatening violence and spreading panic to the masses. But enough about Donald Trump! There are killer clowns out there, people! Yes, as you may have heard, roving gangs of deranged freakin' clowns have been making your nightmares come to life across the country. Posses of mentally ill circus performers have been spotted in ten states, and it looks like they've progressed from simply scaring the ever-loving sh-t out of kids to actually assaulting people.
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