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Ben Affleck Happily Reviewing 'Batman v Superman' Means Sad Affleck Is Officially Dead

We are gathered here today to mourn Sad Affleck. We hardly knew thee. Ben Affleck just barely escaped from the disaster zone that was 2016. Trying to promote a movie colorfully described by one critic as “a stink bucket of disappointment” while navigating the media fallout from your highly public split is a position even Lex Luthor wouldn’t subject his most formidable foe to.
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