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Breaking News: No One Cares About Your Start-Up

This just in from our on-site millennial team: In a non-described, newly gentrified neighborhood in an unspecific up-and-coming city near some relevant body of water, we report that, to what seems to be surprising to zero people: No one gives a shit about your new start-up. A significantly annoying number of "who cares" start-ups have made their ways into cities across America, bringing 20somethings together to celebrate the creation of a company culture sponsored by Kickstarter and Nick's Ping Pong tables.
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