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What the Unicorn (and Now Dragon) Frappuccino Can Teach Us About Parenting

I'm about to talk about to you about the challenge of modern parenting through the lens of the recent culinary atrocity that is the Starbucks Unicorn - and now Dragon - Frappuccino. Stay with me. I'm a coffee drinker, the kind that wants all coffee to taste like something between espresso and soil - very hot and very, very strong. Occasionally, like if it's 90 degrees, I will allow my coffee to be served cold, and with a touch of almond or coconut milk, but I do not want sugar or hazelnut syrup or whipped cream or sprinkles anywhere near my coffee.
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