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I love the Puppy Bowl, but it’s a house of lies

You cannot adopt the puppies. Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl is the apex of Super Bowl counter-programming. The content of the two-hour show is in no way objectionable and in every way lovable. Referee Dan Schachner provides a slice of humanity and order to the chaos. It frequently and repeatedly highlights the cause of animal adoption. But mostly: PUPPIES! The clumsy floofers hit me right in the feels, every time.
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