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Secret Service Officer Arrested After Allegedly Sexting an Undercover Cop Posing As a Teen

The Secret Service's past few years of astonishingly bad press continues after an officer was arrested on Monday, CNN reported Thursday. Thirty-seven-year-old Lee Robert Moore was caught allegedly sending naked pictures of himself to an undercover Delaware State Police detective who was posing as a 14-year-old girl. The online messages — which were sometimes... More »

Secret Service to Start Looking After Carson and Trump

The Secret Service will start looking after Donald Trump and Ben Carson early this week, with each of the two leading GOP candidates receiving  "approximately two dozen agents." Newsmax reports that "the agency's decision was primarily triggered by a significant number of threats to Carson," who — by spending late... More »

Secret Service Forced to Apologize Again

On Wednesday, the Secret Service was ridiculed once again after word got out that dozens of agents had accessed the personnel file of a certain House Republican — one who happened to chair the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee that was investigating why the agency was so bad at its... More »

Secret Service Tries to Fix Failures, Creates New Security Breach

In a Veep-esque move, the Secret Service just embarrassed itself while attempting to get past its recent spate of embarrassing scandals. The agency began hiring more agents after a fence-jumper managed to make it into the White House last September, and the Washington Post reports that in their rush to... More »

A Dude Tried to Fly a Drone Outside White House (Again)

The Secret Service detained a man who seemed to be attempting to fly a drone near the White House on Thursday. This is not the first time this has happened in 2015. Four months ago, an intelligence-agency employee somehow accidentally crashed a drone that he had been flying around his apartment... More »

It Took a Year for the Secret Service to Replace George H.W. Bush’s Ancient Alarm System

The Washington Post reported today that it took the Secret Service more than a year to fix President George H.W. Bush's 20-year-old alarm system in Houston, which stopped working in September 2013. The system wasn't replaced until the end of 2014. The Secret Service added another agent to the former... More »

Secret Service Face Their Most Powerful Enemy Yet: A Toddler

The Secret Service took some time off from drinking and crashing cars yesterday to take on a potent menace: a 4-year-old who had climbed under the White House fence. The Weekly Standard reports the Secret Service suddenly came to life Sunday afternoon when they were alerted to an intrusion, drawing their... More »

Federal Agents Allegedly Stole Bitcoins While Investigating Silk Road Case

Former DEA agent Carl Mark Force IV and former Secret Service agent Shaun Bridges are being charged with allegedly stealing Bitcoins while investigating the cryptocurrency for the case that brought down Silk Road, the Deep Web black market. According to the Times, Force deposited the Bitcoins found in the process... More »

Secret Service Accidentally Conveniently Destroys Tapes of Allegedly Drunken Crash

This week members of Congress watched two inconclusive surveillance videos of two possibly drunk Secret Service agents crashing into a White House barricade earlier this month, but Secret Service Director Joseph Clancy said there's no other footage because it's their policy to destroy the tapes after 72 hours. "That doesn't... More »

After Experimenting With Feces, Man Mails Cyanide to White House

Today in threats to the president's residence not caused by the Secret Service, cyanide was found in an envelope addressed to the White House. Agency spokesman Robert Hoback said the envelope, which arrived in a screening facility this week, initially tested negative for biological agents, but on Tuesday returned a... More »

Secret Service Wants to Practice Saving President Obama at a Fake White House

When the Secret Service practices saving President Obama they have to rely on "a rudimentary, not-to-scale simulation of the north grounds of the White House, using bike barricades to act as the fencing,” according to Joseph Clancy, the agency's director.  It apparently hasn't worked well, so the Secret Service is... More »

Possibly Drunk Secret Service Agents Drove Through an Active Bomb Investigation

We once thought that rouge Secret Service agents only existed in dumb action movies, but now we have to consider the possibility that someone is trying to take down the agency from the inside. That's the only explanation for the latest White House security breach, which is somehow even worse... More »

Secret Service Agents Under Investigation for Drunkenly Crashing Into White House Barrier

Last fall the Secret Service was plagued by reports of fence jumpers and White House shootings that went unnoticed for days, culminating in the resignation of Julia Pierson as the agency's director. Her replacement, Joseph Clancy, said he knew the Secret Service had lost Americans' trust, but asked the public... More »

Secret Service Agent Commits Suicide Amid Affair Investigation

Secret Service Agent Rafael Prieto, who was assigned to President Obama's protective detail, was found in a car parked in the garage of a D.C. apartment complex on Saturday in an apparent suicide. In the crackdown following the agency's Colombian prostitution scandal, it was discovered that Prieto was in a ... More »

Michelle Obama Longs for the Thrill of Shopping at CVS

During her interview with Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday, Michelle Obama revealed that her daughters lead surprisingly normal lives. Thanks in part to the costumes, on Halloween they can go trick or treating, and the Secret Service doesn't even insist on taste testing their candy. Going out undetected isn't quite as ... More »

Woman in Secret Service Prostitution Scandal is Writing Her Memoir

Shortly after the Secret Service prostitution scandal broke, Dania Suarez, the woman who says agent Arthur Huntington refused to pay her $800 fee, said she'd "happily sell her story now and pose nude" as her life has been "practically destroyed." Now she's making good on one of those promises. According ... More »

The Secret Service Will Be Calling Paul Ryan ‘Bowhunter’

Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan went the man's man route for his Secret Service nickname, GQ reports, and will be known henceforth as "Bowhunter" for his love of shooting animals, and also probably some political metaphor. Ryan's wife Janna went with the decidedly softer "Buttercup," joining Mitt Romney's "Javelin" ... More »

U-Haul Truck With Equipment for Biden Visit Stolen in Detroit

A U-Haul truck carrying equipment for Vice-President Joe Biden's Labor Day campaign stop in Detroit was stolen Saturday night, CNN reports. Secret Service spokesman Edward Donovan said the truck was lifted at the Westin Hotel downtown and added that the theft of the truck wouldn't impact Biden's Labor Day rally ... More »

Secret Service Agent Left Something Pretty Dangerous in Bathroom on Romney's Plane

And it came from the agent's holster, which is not a metaphor for anything. The agent left a loaded handgun in a bathroom on Mitt Romney's campaign plane on Wednesday while the aircraft was flying the Republican nominee from Tampa to Indianapolis for a speech, the Times reports. A CBS ... More »

The Strangest Security Measure at the GOP Convention

At this moment, the desolated streets of downtown Tampa look like a scene out of Children of Men. Fences and barriers are everywhere, blocking access to roads and sidewalks. Soldiers, police, and Secret Service appear to outnumber civilians. The dreary, stormy weather recalls the hopelessness of dystopian, infertile London in the ... More »

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