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Federal Agents Allegedly Stole Bitcoins While Investigating Silk Road Case

Former DEA agent Carl Mark Force IV and former Secret Service agent Shaun Bridges are being charged with allegedly stealing Bitcoins while investigating the cryptocurrency for the case that brought down Silk Road, the Deep Web black market. According to the Times, Force deposited the Bitcoins found in the process... More »

Secret Service Accidentally Conveniently Destroys Tapes of Allegedly Drunken Crash

This week members of Congress watched two inconclusive surveillance videos of two possibly drunk Secret Service agents crashing into a White House barricade earlier this month, but Secret Service Director Joseph Clancy said there's no other footage because it's their policy to destroy the tapes after 72 hours. "That doesn't... More »

After Experimenting With Feces, Man Mails Cyanide to White House

Today in threats to the president's residence not caused by the Secret Service, cyanide was found in an envelope addressed to the White House. Agency spokesman Robert Hoback said the envelope, which arrived in a screening facility this week, initially tested negative for biological agents, but on Tuesday returned a... More »

Secret Service Wants to Practice Saving President Obama at a Fake White House

When the Secret Service practices saving President Obama they have to rely on "a rudimentary, not-to-scale simulation of the north grounds of the White House, using bike barricades to act as the fencing,” according to Joseph Clancy, the agency's director.  It apparently hasn't worked well, so the Secret Service is... More »

Possibly Drunk Secret Service Agents Drove Through an Active Bomb Investigation

We once thought that rouge Secret Service agents only existed in dumb action movies, but now we have to consider the possibility that someone is trying to take down the agency from the inside. That's the only explanation for the latest White House security breach, which is somehow even worse... More »

Secret Service Agents Under Investigation for Drunkenly Crashing Into White House Barrier

Last fall the Secret Service was plagued by reports of fence jumpers and White House shootings that went unnoticed for days, culminating in the resignation of Julia Pierson as the agency's director. Her replacement, Joseph Clancy, said he knew the Secret Service had lost Americans' trust, but asked the public... More »

Secret Service Agent Commits Suicide Amid Affair Investigation

Secret Service Agent Rafael Prieto, who was assigned to President Obama's protective detail, was found in a car parked in the garage of a D.C. apartment complex on Saturday in an apparent suicide. In the crackdown following the agency's Colombian prostitution scandal, it was discovered that Prieto was in a ... More »

Michelle Obama Longs for the Thrill of Shopping at CVS

During her interview with Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday, Michelle Obama revealed that her daughters lead surprisingly normal lives. Thanks in part to the costumes, on Halloween they can go trick or treating, and the Secret Service doesn't even insist on taste testing their candy. Going out undetected isn't quite as ... More »

Woman in Secret Service Prostitution Scandal is Writing Her Memoir

Shortly after the Secret Service prostitution scandal broke, Dania Suarez, the woman who says agent Arthur Huntington refused to pay her $800 fee, said she'd "happily sell her story now and pose nude" as her life has been "practically destroyed." Now she's making good on one of those promises. According ... More »

The Secret Service Will Be Calling Paul Ryan ‘Bowhunter’

Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan went the man's man route for his Secret Service nickname, GQ reports, and will be known henceforth as "Bowhunter" for his love of shooting animals, and also probably some political metaphor. Ryan's wife Janna went with the decidedly softer "Buttercup," joining Mitt Romney's "Javelin" ... More »

U-Haul Truck With Equipment for Biden Visit Stolen in Detroit

A U-Haul truck carrying equipment for Vice-President Joe Biden's Labor Day campaign stop in Detroit was stolen Saturday night, CNN reports. Secret Service spokesman Edward Donovan said the truck was lifted at the Westin Hotel downtown and added that the theft of the truck wouldn't impact Biden's Labor Day rally ... More »

Secret Service Agent Left Something Pretty Dangerous in Bathroom on Romney's Plane

And it came from the agent's holster, which is not a metaphor for anything. The agent left a loaded handgun in a bathroom on Mitt Romney's campaign plane on Wednesday while the aircraft was flying the Republican nominee from Tampa to Indianapolis for a speech, the Times reports. A CBS ... More »

The Strangest Security Measure at the GOP Convention

At this moment, the desolated streets of downtown Tampa look like a scene out of Children of Men. Fences and barriers are everywhere, blocking access to roads and sidewalks. Soldiers, police, and Secret Service appear to outnumber civilians. The dreary, stormy weather recalls the hopelessness of dystopian, infertile London in the ... More »

Washington Man Arrested for Making Threats Against Obama, Charging Secret Service Agents With Shotgun

Secret Service agents raided the Washington apartment of 31-year-old Anton Caluori, who allegedly made a threat against President Obama via e-mail, CBS reports. The FBI received the threat then contacted the Secret Service. When Secret Service agents knocked on Caluori's door Tuesday afternoon in a suburb called Federal Way, he ... More »

Secret Service Investigating Dead Cat

When does a burned cat staked to a tree stump get the attention of the Secret Service? When the stake is an American flag and an Obama/Biden 2012 lawn sign is next to it. ... More »

Michelle Obama On Leno: It's Fun To Watch The Secret Service Manage Kids

Ever-active Michelle Obama visited the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Monday where she revealed one of the Secret Service's greatest challenges: Navigating crowds of children. The First Lady told Leno that she recently hosted a "Let's Move" playtime session at U.S. Ambassador Louis B. Susman's house in London during the ... More »

Romney's Latest Campaign Stop Hosted by Convicted Cocaine Smuggler

While President Obama is being kept on a short leash at the Iowa State Fair, the Secret Service allowed Mitt Romney to hang out with a convicted drug dealer today in Miami. Romney held a campaign event with Senator Marco Rubio at the juice shop El Palacio de los Jugos. ... More »

President Not Allowed to Have Fun in Iowa

Between stops to examine corn and stare up at windmills, President Obama's three-day bus tour through Iowa will include a trip to its famous State Fair. Thanks to the First Lady and the Secret Service though, it's going to totally suck. At a rally in Council Bluffs today, President Obama ... More »

Secret Service Understandably Touchy About Bomb Threat Against Mobama

Upon noticing that the Secret Service was sweeping the Foxwoods Theater in Times Square today before Michelle, Sasha, and Malia Obama attended a performance of Spider-man, Turn Off the Dark, someone approached the agents and said, “If the show’s no good, I’m going to blow it up." After investigating, they ... More »

Secret Service Agents Told Secrets to Pretty Much Everyone on Martha’s Vineyard

The Service Service has gone wild during presidential visits to Martha's Vineyard in recent years, residents tell Fox News, from throwing loud parties late into the night to trashing the homes they rented. But perhaps worst of all, they've frequently opened up to strangers about how they keep the president ... More »

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